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Teen Poetry #3
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Hobo Joe
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Hobo Joe |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair 
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This was kind of off my subject area. No idea where it came from! Enjoy. "Hobo Joe" Along subway walls of dust and dirt A hobo and his guitar does flirt, As each string proclaims a vibration Coins sound off, all in donation, Revealing his jaded teeth in a smile He tips his hat, as dollar bills pile, Wasted talent stirs echoes around And waves of ecstasy remain in sound His family has departed, his name is Joe Facts about his life, is what no one knows The feckless security shuffles him away, But the resonance remains for another day It travels up the stairs and into thin air Entwining in ears, you hear it come near, When if finally comes, you'll be disarrayed, Because of cheer and love, it was made By the end of the night, he's been everywhere Each subway tunnel has heard his tune clear Money earned is taken, and given to who need, For he has his music, others require the greed Jeremy D. Raulinaitis 1/1/01 (2001, woohooo) < !signature--> "A writer doesn't acquire a vacancy of mind, but rather a inadequacy of words." - Jeremy D. Raulinaitis [This message has been edited by jeremydraul (edited 01-01-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
JeremyD~ I stopped in to wish the teen forum a Happy New Year, when your piece caught my eye. It's brilliantly executed. You've made me see and hear Hobo Joe. Thank you. Happy New Year ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
This was so well worded...You've got lotsa talent, buddy...don't you ever, ever never ever stop making beautiful works of art... ~Carly inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog... |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
I am just in love with this!! Especially the ending, "...Money earned is taken, and given to who need,For he has his music, others require the greed" that is the best!!! GREAT JOB!!!!!!1 love, *~Valerie~* *...Remember your roots, my friend they're right down below, because heroes come and heroes go...* - Creed |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
marge, thanks a bunch! carly, i cherish the words you convey valerie, im glad you loved it so much, thanks! ~JDR "A writer doesn't acquire a vacancy of mind, but rather a inadequacy of words." - Jeremy D. Raulinaitis |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wow.....wowowowowow. Jer.....this was a true display of the raw talent you have. I loved it.....not your usual at all......but it's GREAT!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Beautifully written Jeremy! Nicely woven tale, with a wonderful message within, much enjoyed!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
This is outstandingly fantastic. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
i liked it alot. good job. it was very real. REGina |
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Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
this poem is great!!! i love it! you have so much talent wonderful story keep up the good work ~*Justine*~ |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
..wow, just happen to pop into my mind as an odd idea it was so random, thanks for the replies ..i appreaciate your honesty! ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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The Lost Supertone Member
since 2001-01-20
Posts 74Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada |
Man when I heard Hobo I thought, ok gona be a funny poem sorta thing, but hey this was really good. I liked it alot. Man I think your one of the few poets who use large words regularly, but dosn't use them to be purdy and sound smart. They acctually mean what you want them to mean. I commend you on this, that's why I stop half way through a lot of poems that just bore me with words that mean little. |
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