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Teen Poetry #3
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Behind His Make-up
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Behind His Make-up |
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A 
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This is one that I wrote tonight and I'm just trying to get back into my groove of writing...so rip it apart. Behind His Make-up Crying, screaming, gasping for air: these are true to him. Infinate mazes, lost in laughter that keep the truth within. This clown we see, but do not know treats us with his smile. But late at night, mask removed- his tears shall stream for miles. Indulging whispers speak to him- "Take the colors off!" He wants to listen, but needs the mask to hide from us the loss. Now you ask, "The loss of what?" Never can you know. Sit and watch him dance about and let the make-up show. Jeremy D. Halstead 7-3-00 "Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade." [This message has been edited by Jeremy Halstead (edited 07-03-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeremy D. Halstead - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Excellent Jeremy! Rip it apart??? Not a chance ... it's wonderful! You've portrayed the man behind the mask incredibly well, for no one knows our own true hearts and feelings ... they see only what we choose to show the world. Truly beautiful writing Jeremy (I'd click if it were a book submission)  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
That, too, was another great one. You're way too good at this stuff!! It was great, what else can I say...... Bel |
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BabyGirl1 Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 91Morris, IL |
Behind a dark mask he waits The angel deep within Knowing that if he reveals himself we all will see his sins Great Poem Jeremy. Truly we all have our masks. |
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TAP2 Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 211Morris, Il USA |
The fathomless coherency of this work of art expresses feelings that we all keep locked deep within. The person we are alone at night in bed, when the tears come streaming down like torrents of rain, is the person we hide from everyone to hide our silent pain. I was very touched by the profoundness captured in these few lines. This may possibly be the best of your work I've ever read. Why wasn't this a book submission as well? " Sit and watch him dance about And watch the make-up show" TAP2 |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
Never am I ever the slightest bit disappointed Jeremy!!  Your writing conveys such a stong personality as well as lots of experience with life. I feel so sheltered when it comes to you! lol Your writing is excellent and this is one of my favorites!! Keep it up kid! It's always nice to see recent work from you!! Love Always~*~Pryncess Jess~*~~*~Love is the product of our dicontentment with ourselves~*~ ~*~SMILE! It makes your butt shine!~*~ |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
i also think you should have summited it your a great writer and with work like this you should make it in the book. i love all your work and your great and you have your writing skills i don't think you ever lost them even if there a little of subject it still expresses the facts you wanted revieled right? enjoyed it very much thanks for posting it. I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
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Misty Member
since 1999-08-01
Posts 121USA |
I think this is a wonderful poem. You are truley gifted if you wrote this just in a night. It's so well written. We do all wear mask. Nice job! Keep posting them, I love your poems! ©Misty For more Poems bye Misty GO TO: http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Arc/1644 "You died a failure because you never tried!" |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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