Teen Poetry #3 |
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wanting evolution |
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Meladorri Junior Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 14Indianapolis, IN |
so many nights spent alone with you so many nights wondering what to do so many nights looking deep in your eyes so many nights dreading my heart's demise never enough nights with your arms around me never enough nights feeling your lips wandering free never enough nights speaking softly with you never enough nights when our friendship subdues |
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© Copyright 2000 Justine - All Rights Reserved | |||
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
i like the escalation, the building process of the poem. It repeated nicely creating a very good flow and rhyme. Meter was mere perfect, allowing me to read it clearly... excellent job and welcome back! ~JDR "A writer doesn't acquire a vacancy of mind, but rather a inadequacy of words." - Jeremy D. Raulinaitis |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Great job on this one. I liked it a lot. Very good poem..... ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
I LOVED THIS POEM!!!! This is like my life!! This was an excellent poem..one of my favs!! Great job!! |
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Skyfire![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Really, really, REALLY good! I like it, I like it! Anyway, as I was trying to say, awesome poem, and, man, that's like, my life right now! Wow. ![]() ![]() ~*Skyfire *~Always Canadian*~ ~*~I used to be an idiot, but I'm all right now~*~ |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Great poem, you have done a wonderful job here... keep up the great work!! Melz!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
This is great writing, I agree with jeremy about everything. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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