»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #3
»
Burning Walls
| Teen Poetry #3 |
|
Burning Walls |
|
|
peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
< sigh > Vreni Burning Walls Light the match, crash and burn, Forget yourself, hide concern. Build it up, brick by brick, Knock it down, oh so quick. Close the door, lock it tight, Pull the blinds, out of sight. Smile eyes but crying fear Silent mouth just lying here. Cyclic time, round and round, Crazy child’s lost and found. Mortar added, caulk the cracks, Run on through, leave no tracks. Guard the gate, halt the flow, Curtain down, stop the show. Light the match, crash and burn. Blunder on, you’ll never learn. [This message has been edited by peanogrl83 (edited 12-30-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 peanogrl83 - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
wow!it was great!the rythming and words flowed so well. alot more ppl should read it. Regina |
||
branden726 
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
Words ive never heard have never sounded so good thats probably cuz its the first time i heard them and even tho i dont know what they mean its a great poem flowed great. "i just love when you bring your whole crew because its just a bigger piece of cake for me to chew threw" |
||
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
VRENI!!! You are so gifted. I completely lost myself within these lines, its like someone was reading them to me from some other realm...so good, so good... ~Carly |
||
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
nice meter... this one was really well written! ~JDR "A writer doesn't acquire a vacancy of mind, but rather a inadequacy of words." - Jeremy D. Raulinaitis |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
jer is hooked on meter tonight. anyway.....nice one vreni, same style as "Loser"......MUA.....very good.....you deserve a pat on the back......*wink*......hehe bye!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Well done Vreni! Loved the perfect rhythm and flow in this ... great work!  Best wishes, /Kit |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Vreni --- Don't even ask me what i think  You should already knowI see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
||
|
~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
i am absolutely in love with this poem!!! you are so talented, words just flow and the image it creates is so vivid. if only we could all write like you, but then it'd be boring... LOL NICE JOB!!!!! *...Remember your roots, my friend they're right down below, because heroes come and heroes go...* - Creed |
||
|
peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Thanks to all who replied.....once again, unfounded compliments!!!! Dopey....um, a pat on the back? whatever for? Am I choking or something? lol ;.P acire -For the love of pickles, stop making me blush w/ your responses to my work....and the same can be said for what I think of my work...(all know my views... lol) Sugar- dear, I do not consider myself talented, far from it. There are many many more poets in this forum much more talented than I. Vreni |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Nicely done, this is written well. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
||
|
IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
The meter actually is really good in this one. You are talented and very humble. Jason "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
||
|
Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
the flow in this poem is PERFECT i love it you ahev a lot of talent ~*Justine*~ |
||
|
Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
I like this! I don't know what else to say, but I LIKE THIS!!! Great work! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
