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Child of the Stars
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since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

0 posted 2000-12-30 01:46 PM


This is a bit simpler than I normally find myself writing, but oh well...Enjoy. And special thanks to the person that called me an angel...


So many nights her eyes did wake
To stare at nothing but the wall
A loner, outcast, what you wish
Tall girl, and yet, so very small

Responsible, did what she's told
Raised under tender, gentle hands
Now taught to write and love among
The farthest starlit ocean lands

Dreamt nasty dreams, thought nasty thoughts
Yet did not think lust hardly wrong
One word.  Her soul was lifted up.
She is an angel, loved and strong.

© Copyright 2000 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved
sweetstuff101
Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375
OK, USA
1 posted 2000-12-30 02:03 PM


Awesome poem!!

So many nights her eyes did wake
To stare at nothing but the wall
A loner, outcast, what you wish
Tall girl, and yet, so very small

Great job!! Keep writing!

Much luv,  
  ~*~SweetStuff~*~


~*~GoOd fRiEnDz ArE hArD 2 FiNd, HaRdEr 2 LeAvE, & iMpOsSiBlE 2 fOrGeT~*~tHe HaRdEsT tHiNg tO Do iS wAtCh tHe 1 U LuV, lUv sUm1 eLsE~*~

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2000-12-30 02:26 PM


This was wonderful carly......i loved it. Very positive and uplifting. Good job on this one.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


DreamerGrl27
Member
since 2000-10-29
Posts 142

3 posted 2000-12-30 03:00 PM


This was really creative, I liked it a lot. I loved this part:
A loner, outcast, what you wish
Tall girl, and yet, so very small

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
4 posted 2000-12-30 03:09 PM


beautiful descriptions:
"Now taught to write and love among
The farthest starlit ocean lands"

I loved it, keep writing!

~JDR

"A writer doesn't acquire a vacancy of mind, but rather a inadequacy of words." - Jeremy D. Raulinaitis

Acies
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since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
5 posted 2000-12-30 03:15 PM


you never seize to amaze me with your writing. What talent bestowed on such a young person. Seasoned writing as though the summer's on numerous laps, and so does the fall.    keep em coming

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


HiddenSparklez
Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190
British Columbia, Canada
6 posted 2000-12-30 03:17 PM


You said before that this poem was one of your simpler ones... how complex do your poems get?? Loved the lines "Now taught to write and love among/The farthest starlit ocean lands"
Child of the Stars
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Ann Arbor, MI
7 posted 2000-12-30 10:53 PM



  Thanks everyone!! Like I'd ever stop writing...hehe...Some things are so complex that I don't understand them weeks after writing them...Well thanks again, you guys rock

   ~Carly

IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

8 posted 2000-12-31 10:17 AM


Carly, this is beutiful.  You are "an angel, loved and strong."  I like the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd verses the best    It's great to see you writting such a happy poem.
Jason

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

Jenn Cirrincione
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since 2000-07-02
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Fl
9 posted 2000-12-31 01:32 PM


Wonderful, it sounds as if a very sad girl, suddenly is able to be quite happy, if this is about you... kudos!! More power to you, try and keep this attitude. I loved the poem, keep writing.
xoxo
Jenn


"A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ??


xShUgArHiGhx
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since 2000-09-26
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
10 posted 2000-12-31 08:34 PM


I liked this poem a lot! It was so simple yet it had so much meaning to it...i like that   Great job and keep it up!
Melster
Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442
Brisbane, Qld, Australia
11 posted 2001-01-01 01:59 AM


Great poem... look forward to more!!

Melz!!


Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly

branden726
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since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI
12 posted 2001-01-01 11:14 AM


can i say, Wow!! holy cow this was a great poem you expressed feelings well in here wow great poem.

"i just love when you bring your whole crew because its just a bigger piece of cake for me to chew threw"



Elizabeth
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since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
13 posted 2001-01-01 12:24 PM


Very well done! You told the story of her nicely.
Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
14 posted 2001-01-03 02:14 PM


I like this one a lot, it's really a good poem !

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

GirlsBestFriend
Member
since 2000-12-27
Posts 71
Planet Earth
15 posted 2001-01-03 03:05 PM


WOW!!! Carly..to me this is perfect! whatever I'll try, never gonna write something like this. wish I read something like this everyday (and written by you) lol  

lot's of luv


"Isn't it funny how to the world you are nothing? But then to one person..you're the world"

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