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Teen Poetry #3
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Game of Love
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Game of Love |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico 
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NOTE: This highly sucks......Written in a time of utter hell with the game of love....yep yep......sad me. Game of Love: Oh game of love Tearing me apart. Why must you knock me down Over and over again? I bleed from within. Pieces of my self vanishing Into the darkness. A horror of a thought! Oh game of love Ripping me away. Away from my sanity. Lost in an internal chaos. I wither alone In a cold, muddy ditch. Knowing that I've lost miserably To the only person that mattered.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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| © Copyright 2000 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved | |||
Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Wow. Hope you don't feel bad anymore. Awesome expression of how you felt(feel?). "I bleed from within. Pieces of my self vanishing Into the darkness. A horror of a thought!" Love it. Wow. Just can't express how much I love that part  ~*Skyfire *~Always Canadian*~ ~*~I used to be an idiot, but I'm all right now~*~ |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Well, I don't think it sucks Dopey. Ending is awesome: "I wither alone In a cold, muddy ditch. Knowing that I've lost miserably To the only person that mattered." I hope it all gets better for you Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Sucky? I think not. You expressed your feelings well with this poem. Pretty words are nothing without true emotions behind them; therefore, your poem is golden.  I am no one if not myself. ~*SeLf PrOcLaImEd FrEaK oF nAtUrE*~ |
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DreamerGrl27 Member
since 2000-10-29
Posts 142 |
First of all - this isnt bad at all, I really liked it. You made your emotions really clear. Everyone knows that the game of love can make you so frustrated, but you just have to keep trying and hopefully in the end everything will work out okay. good luck and great poem, it wasnt bad at all. |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
MMMmmmmm bop...loved it babe!! Keep kickin some poetey booty. Lotsa luv!! ~Carly |
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Hallie_Angel Member
since 2000-12-06
Posts 102 |
Jeeze Dopey who would do that to you? You are just too sweet! Tell me there name, and address and I'll mAke sure you don't feel that way in the end! Hope you have better days! Catherine! |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Javier,c'mon it aint bad at all. the game of love sux. ouch!sorry Brad is tickling cuz im saying the game of love sux! he likes it,the poem. Regina and Brad |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Dopey... as I say, you don't know how to write bad poetry, you are a brilliant writer and we always look forward to reading your work... this is no exception!! Melz!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
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Tears of Glass Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 182Physically? VA.... Mentally? I'm not quite sure |
I think everyone has said what I would like to say But awesome poem! I know how you're feeling.. I am sure many of us here do.. and you expressed it so well! Wonderful poem.*Jennifer |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
nice view of the game my friend, i thought highly of it ~JDR "A writer doesn't acquire a vacancy of mind, but rather a inadequacy of words." - Jeremy D. Raulinaitis |
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Virgil Junior Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 43Toronto, Ontario, Canada |
Hey, nice poem, it doesn't suck at all! Congrats! |
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Virgil Junior Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 43Toronto, Ontario, Canada |
Hey, nice poem, it doesn't suck at all! Congrats! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Great description Javier (on both poems tonight) ... you've set the mood and brought the reader directly into your feelings. Very well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
*raises his hand* "pick me, me, me, me!!!" "Yes Lakewalker?" "I agree with Kit" "Oh, that's splendid!" Ok, yeah, I think this poem is good, thanks for posting some for us to read "Oh game of love Ripping me away. Away from my sanity. Lost in an internal chaos." "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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sweetstuff101 Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375OK, USA |
This doesn't suck!! It is actually very good!! I luv it!! Keep up the great work!! Much Luv, Priscilla ~*~GoOd fRiEnDz ArE hArD 2 FiNd, HaRdEr 2 LeAvE, & iMpOsSiBlE 2 fOrGeT~*~tHe HaRdEsT tHiNg tO Do iS wAtCh tHe 1 U LuV, lUv sUm1 eLsE~*~ |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Don't start being like Vreni now. You both know that you have the talent to write. It might suck to you, but it well sound really good to me  keep writingI see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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