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Teen Poetry #3
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| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Untitled(suggestions please) |
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Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
hey y'all! its been a while! this isn't all that good but i haven't posted in a while so i figured this would do until i get out of my writers block  , please give me opinions!!How can someone confuse me so much? I dont want my heart torn again, don't want to be in need of an emotinal crutch. I have shunned away true affection before. This time I won't I have left open the door. My heart is on my sleeve, cold and veuneralble for you to take and warm but with this heart you sign a pact, a promise to keep it from harm. The last thing i need is to be hurt again. Alone in my room left to drown in my tears of pain. Look in to my eyes and you will see a lonely girl waiting(for your sign)... a lonely girl who is me. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Justine - All Rights Reserved | |||
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
hey, this is good. i'd love to help you revise it  only because that is what we were doing on creative writing before we left for vaca. LOL but i still like it!love ya sis, ~*Booger*~ *do not offer yourself to the world, yet let the world offer itself to you*--Me :) |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey. I really liked this! The part bout the emotional crutch was great. Keep writing!! ~Carly |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
Hey Teenie! I loved it, as always! I think maybe a good title would be... ALPO! haha no j/k, obviously -=Beanie=- |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
now is when my quote "If ya stop lookin, love will bite ya in the butt!!" come in quite handy good luck ~*~ Tamma Loves Justin ~*~ www.angelfire.com/wv2/poetrycorner I'm just a girl looking at a guy asking him to love me |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
awesome!! And I mean it. I know how it goes with the whole writer's block thing. Keep writing, though!! ~*Skyfire *~Always Canadian*~ ~*~I used to be an idiot, but I'm all right now~*~ |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Do they have perscriptions for writers block at the doctor? They should, it's a horrible disease You did a good job of writing this poem, if you don't mind me saying though, the flow wasn't perfect when I read it. If you do mind me saying it, than, well than tell me so "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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branden726
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
Hey pixi take a few words from an old friend in this poem your talking about hiding and about be cautious and well i think a good name would be "Cautious Hearted" i dont know thats just how the title feels to me ya know. "i just love when you bring your whole crew because its just a bigger piece of cake for me to chew threw" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was great.........so sad and i surely hope he doesn't hurt you. If he does call me.....i'll rip his....erm...ok anyway nice one!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
Thank you all for the repiles and Lake, of course i dont; mind you saying it didnt; flow well *L* i didn't think so either i just write whatever i am thinking weather it flows or not! thanks again!!!~*Justine*~ |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Good Work, I love this... it is soo truthful... im sure a lot of us can relate to what you are saying!!! Melz!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
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Tears of Glass Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 182Physically? VA.... Mentally? I'm not quite sure |
I dont think I can say anything anyone else has already said, but this is an awesome poem. Thank you for posting it! *Jennifer |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Seems like you have the received all the praises that can be said. All i can say is that i'm speechles. lovin it  I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
yet again thank you acire LOL i'll be looking for some of your work verrrry soon ~*Justine*~ |
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