Teen Poetry #3 |
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Goodnight my love |
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Kevin![]()
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa ![]() |
silence screaming ticking hands awake dreaming sleep demands need you near me know your taste growing weary seconds waste moonlit smile eyes to close thinking while my conscience goes hope that you dreams will be of the day is through goodnight my love |
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© Copyright 2000 Kevin Bednarz - All Rights Reserved | |||
kimmy Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 98 |
wow..this was really really good...i likes it a lot...nice job... |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"moonlit smile eyes to close thinking while my conscience goes" This flows with such tender and lyrical tones Kevin ... just the perfect mood to set to slumber, very nicely done! ![]() Best wishes, /Kit |
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Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey. The beginning had a tone that wasn't very defined, but it pulled together wonderfully in the end! Very good piece. ~Carly |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Excellent poem Kevin. It had a great flow to it. Live and let live. ~*SeLf PrOcLaImEd FrEaK oF nAtUrE*~ |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I really like the flow of this, it's such a good poem. Great job on it! "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Kevin is in lovveeeeeeeeeeeee.......good one here. Another poem with wonderful flow! ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
your sstyle is so different but still so effective. im loving it a lot. don't worry about Dopes ![]() ![]() I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
its really good. nice flow. hope to see more. REgina aka Ina |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
nice wordage... the quick wit words and up beat message was a plus too! ~JDR "A writer doesn't acquire a vacancy of mind, but rather a inadequacy of words." - Jeremy D. Raulinaitis |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Kevin, this is a wonderful, loving piece of work. I loved the lines Kit already mentioned...truly beautiful work! ![]() *Krista Knutson* I'm a slow dying flower In a frost-killing hour The sweet turning sour and untouchable... -Natalie Merchant |
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Jenn Cirrincione![]() ![]()
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Nice work Kevin. Keep it up..! ![]() xoxo Jenn "A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ?? |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Great work... short and sweet!! Melz!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
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Isabelle Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 176Indiana |
I like it alot. This style of writing was unique and I like your rhyming skeme that takes talent. Jeanna "Poetry is the music of the souls, and above all, of great and feeling souls." ~Voltaire~ |
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