»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #3
»
Intruder
| Teen Poetry #3 |
|
Intruder |
|
|
layla Member
since 2000-11-19
Posts 74 |
You are not welcome here its a sacred place of mine you can not just intrude its not something you win in time but you choose to defy me and break open the door to my soul you cannot deny me my wishes to be left alone But you do and you don't even care you smash the glass and crack my dignity and all I can do is stare Maybe I'm too weak If i had strength this would'nt be Maybe I should find some strength to stop this thing from hounding me maybe its my fault its too hard to begin My sacred place is no more sacred an intruder has broken in |
||
| © Copyright 2000 layla - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
This is very descriptive Layla ... indeed, there are times when we feeling invaded, and in these times, we have to take control of the situation to ensure we are remain in control and comfortable ... I hope you are able to work this out. Nicely done!  Best wishes, /Kit |
||
branden726 
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
IT SEEMS IM IN A DREAM WORLD. YOU KNOW I WAS THINKING WOULDNT IT BE KOOL IF EACH PERSON IN THE TEEN FORUMS PICKED ONE POEM AND WE ALL PUT THEM TOGETHER AND WELL, WROTE A POEM BOOK. THIS JUST CAME TO ME CUZ I WOULD PICK NOT ONE OF MY OWN POEMS BUT SOMEONE ELSES. "i just love when you bring your whole crew because its just a bigger piece of cake for me to chew threw" |
||
|
layla Member
since 2000-11-19
Posts 74 |
ya brandon i think thats a very good idea, maybe it will happen, you never know!!!!!! |
||
|
Bright_Eyes Junior Member
since 2000-12-22
Posts 29Plymouth, MN |
"smash the glass and crack my dignity" I love that verse! Keep up the great work!  |
||
|
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This sound familiar but im not sure if its what im thinking. It souds life something that happened to me....ummm beautiful experrions and power!! REgina aka Ina if u need to talk email me or ICQ!! |
||
xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
I really liked this poem...it had a lot of meaning to it and you expressed yourself nicely..great job...i hope there are no more intruders... |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was a nice poem. I liked it. Hopefully this interuder doesn't harm your soul too much.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
||
|
layla Member
since 2000-11-19
Posts 74 |
Thanks guyz for ur posts they mean a lot to me. |
||
|
Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Great poem... we all like to build ourselves a wall and hide.. people need to respect our privacy... Melz!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Great job on this poem, it was written very well. Excellent work "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
||
|
IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Very nice poem. I enjoyed it. hopefully this intruder is only that and not a thief as well. Hope all works out well. IsGona "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
||
|
kimmy Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 98 |
i hope this intruder didnt do any damage...but i liked your poem it was really good...great job.. |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
hope this is not what i think it is. I'm not gonna elborate on it, but i hope that you're doing a lot better. thanks for the share I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
||
|
Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Wow. Can't say much more than that. Great descripteveness (is that another new word?). Luck on whatever it is that you wrote about. ~*Skyfire *~Always Canadian*~ ~*~I used to be an idiot, but I'm all right now~*~ |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
