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Teen Poetry #3
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Jenn Cirrincione
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since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl

0 posted 2000-12-22 08:20 PM


Stepping out of a web of
         self-consciousness
Into a life anew with hope
         and love
You wanted more than I
         had the capacity for
You dove in head first
         utter trust
Feeling for me what I have
         yet to feel for any
For each rose you gave
         smothered even more
Pain sprung up from your
         love
Your adoration was misplaced
         unappreciated regretfully


© Copyright 2000 Jennifer Parker - All Rights Reserved
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
1 posted 2000-12-23 07:09 AM


Wonderful writing Jenn!  You've so beautifully described that "smothering feeling" that can replace the hopeful feelings if another's love is too overpowering. Really well done!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

2 posted 2000-12-23 03:45 PM


I love the way this was written.  I really liked the end of this poem too:
"Your adoration was misplaced
         unappreciated regretfully"


"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2000-12-23 11:26 PM


Wow, this was great! I liked this a lot. I am so getting into reading your poetry tonight. For some reason I have seen something in your two poems.....this one and Hate?.......that i haven't seen in a lot. Maybe it's just me. But anyhow.......great piece!!!!!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


Melster
Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442
Brisbane, Qld, Australia
4 posted 2000-12-24 06:36 AM


Great poem...  this feeling you have soo...  difficult to explain yet you do it with such ease...  Well done...  I love your work...  keep posting!!

Melz!!


Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly

Jenn Cirrincione
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since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
5 posted 2000-12-24 03:58 PM


Thanks!

Isgona~ Thank you buddy... It means a lot to hear you say that about my work.  

Dopey~Thank you, coming from you, that compliment seems very magnanimous! I hope you DID find something special in my work. If I move even one person, it's all worth it!

Kit~ Thank you, you always have such nice things to say!!

Melster~Thank you lots! However, be careful what you wish for!!  

xoxo
Jenn


"A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ??

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
6 posted 2000-12-26 01:22 PM


Hey,
  This poem is written so well, I really like how it's done.  nice work

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2000-12-29 10:00 AM


wow wow wow

short and simple, but totally and absolutely a great write.  This is really good Jenn.  Keep em coming  

"You dove in head first
         utter trust"

this is my problem too  


I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


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