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Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

0 posted 2000-12-22 08:20 PM

Stepping out of a web of
         self-consciousness
Into a life anew with hope
         and love
You wanted more than I
         had the capacity for
You dove in head first
         utter trust
Feeling for me what I have
         yet to feel for any
For each rose you gave
         smothered even more
Pain sprung up from your
         love
Your adoration was misplaced
         unappreciated regretfully

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

1 posted 2000-12-23 07:09 AM

Wonderful writing Jenn! You've so beautifully described that "smothering feeling" that can replace the hopeful feelings if another's love is too overpowering. Really well done!

Best wishes,
/Kit

IsGona
Senior Member

since 2000-07-14

Posts 723

2 posted 2000-12-23 03:45 PM

I love the way this was written. I really liked the end of this poem too:
"Your adoration was misplaced
unappreciated regretfully"

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2000-12-23 11:26 PM

Wow, this was great! I liked this a lot. I am so getting into reading your poetry tonight. For some reason I have seen something in your two poems.....this one and Hate?.......that i haven't seen in a lot. Maybe it's just me. But anyhow.......great piece!!!!!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

Melster
Member

since 2000-12-09

Posts 442
Brisbane, Qld, Australia

4 posted 2000-12-24 06:36 AM

Great poem... this feeling you have soo... difficult to explain yet you do it with such ease... Well done... I love your work... keep posting!!

Melz!!

Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

5 posted 2000-12-24 03:58 PM

Thanks!

Isgona~ Thank you buddy... It means a lot to hear you say that about my work.

Dopey~Thank you, coming from you, that compliment seems very magnanimous! I hope you DID find something special in my work. If I move even one person, it's all worth it!

Kit~ Thank you, you always have such nice things to say!!

Melster~Thank you lots! However, be careful what you wish for!!

xoxo
Jenn

"A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ??

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

6 posted 2000-12-26 01:22 PM

Hey,
This poem is written so well, I really like how it's done. nice work

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

7 posted 2000-12-29 10:00 AM

wow wow wow

short and simple, but totally and absolutely a great write. This is really good Jenn. Keep em coming

"You dove in head first
utter trust"

this is my problem too

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

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