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Teen Poetry #3
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TrueLUV
Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 158
Connecticut, U.S.A.

0 posted 2000-12-20 11:00 PM


Walking near the evening sea
I dreamed a dream that could not be
I said to myself she would never be with me
The sea then answered that her heart belongs to me
While the waves plunged heavily against the shore
they told me dreamer, dream no more
And as the flowers crept through mother earth to recieve the energy of birth
I then began to cry like a child would if a bird suddenly died
I screamed out to the sea
But no reply came to me
But I remembered how it once told me that her heart belonged to me


[This message has been edited by TrueLUV (edited 12-22-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 TrueLUV - All Rights Reserved
kimmy
Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 98

1 posted 2000-12-20 11:30 PM


this was a great poem...the imagery was amazing and it was full of emotions...good job...
Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2000-12-20 11:32 PM


This was great.......i liked it a lot. Hope to see you title it soon.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
3 posted 2000-12-21 12:49 PM


i totally agree with dopey cant wait for a title. it was very powerful espacailly your ending.
"I screamed out to the sea
But no reply came to me
But I remembered how it once told me that her heart belonged to me"



LoveBug
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Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

4 posted 2000-12-21 07:04 PM


This is a really powerful piece, full of beautiful imagery and strong emotions. All poetry should be like this. Thanks for posting.

"Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather
"Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav



DreamerGrl27
Member
since 2000-10-29
Posts 142

5 posted 2000-12-21 08:33 PM


This was so amazing...I really loved the whole thing.  You made your emotions so clear that I felt as if I was feeling everything. Great job
Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
6 posted 2000-12-26 11:10 AM


A very well done poem, I liked reading it.  The ending was wonderful, nice job

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Melster
Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442
Brisbane, Qld, Australia
7 posted 2000-12-27 04:34 PM


I am getting a bit slack here...  I don't know how this got to page 3 and I hadn't seen it, Im glad it didn't get too much further...  this is a great poem and you have done a wonderful job expressing these feelings and relating them to mother earth...  great job!!

Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly

Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-01-01 05:23 PM


awesome!!! wow!!!  speechless!!!

3 words: I love it

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
9 posted 2001-01-01 05:58 PM


wow, this was really cool... i loved how you used the sea to answer the questions! great job!

~JDR

"A writer doesn't acquire a vacancy of mind, but rather a inadequacy of words." - Jeremy D. Raulinaitis

Pixie-Babe03
Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387
Central Maine
10 posted 2001-01-01 06:06 PM


wonderful work!!   i look forward to more posts  
~*Pixie*~

Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
11 posted 2001-01-02 12:36 PM


Wow. I'm speechless. Awesome!  

~*Skyfire

"I am Canadian" - Joe
If you set limitations upon yourself, it's no wonder you fall short of your dreams - Rhonda J. Adolph

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