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Teen Poetry #3
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So Close
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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So Close |
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kimmy Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 98 |
So close So far Toes Over Keep balance Eyes moving right, left up, down Mouth open Voice screams Tears fall Moisten cheeks Lips quiver Hand reaches Grip ledge One step Two step Safe indoors Close glass Shut drapes Quiet sigh Still alive. |
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| © Copyright 2000 kimmy - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was so compelling! I loved this poem. A sense of suspense.......great job on this one.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Very powerful, precise wording here! I liked how it flowed, it definitely made it intense. Well done!  *Krista Knutson* "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." Helen Keller |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Krista stole my word, I was going to say that this was intense! So I guess that must be proof to you, since two people had the same thought. nice job with the poem "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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