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Teen Poetry #3
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One Look (pls reply!)
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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One Look (pls reply!) |
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sweetstuff101 Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375OK, USA 
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One Look Sometimes I don't know what to do Sometimes it seems as if nothing is true Sometimes all I want to do is cry And sometimes all I can do is ask myself why Sometimes I want to scream, sometimes I want to shout Sometimes I just want to let it all out But with just one look at you I melt It's the sweetest thing I've ever felt ~*~GoOd fRiEnDz ArE hArD 2 FiNd, HaRdEr 2 LeAvE, & iMpOsSiBlE 2 fOrGeT~*~tHe HaRdEsT tHiNg tO Do iS wAtCh tHe 1 U LuV, lUv sUm1 eLsE~*~ |
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| © Copyright 2000 Priscilla - All Rights Reserved | |||
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sweetypie5 Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 97MWC,OK,USA |
That was a good poem...not as long as usual but still it was good!!! Keep writing!!! Love ya like a sis!! Sweetypie5 |
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dreamer1 12 5 24 Member
since 2000-12-11
Posts 150crossing between |
I like this a lot! The rhyming makes sense, and the vocabulary is good. I think that the and in the fourth line is only used once, and doesn't fit, try putting and at the beginning of every second line... Sorry, I spend all my time in Critical Analylsis, used ot it, but yeah, I really like your poem! ....peace as a primary objective is dangerous because it implies that we would sacrifice anything for the sake of it.... |
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Greeneyes617 Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329Arkansas |
This is such a sweet poem. Great job! |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Nice job on this!  "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
so sweet |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
This was some sweetstuff...LoL.. o my.. I crack my self up..  but seriously yhis was really sweet. nice job.IsGona "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wow IsGona is really lame! hahaha.... anyway good poem......very sweet hehe.....  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
That one look is often what keeps me going through the hard times. Thanks for posting. "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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sweetstuff101 Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375OK, USA |
Very cute IsGona! Thanx for the replies you guys!! **SPLAT** *throws another snowball at sweetypie5* gotcha! Much Love, Priscilla< !signature--> ~*~GoOd fRiEnDz ArE hArD 2 FiNd, HaRdEr 2 LeAvE, & iMpOsSiBlE 2 fOrGeT~*~tHe HaRdEsT tHiNg tO Do iS wAtCh tHe 1 U LuV, lUv sUm1 eLsE~*~ [This message has been edited by sweetstuff101 (edited 12-14-2000).] |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Sweetstuff~ This was so sweet. Im glad that we have people like that in our world. Its just the best thing when something like that happens. Keep up the good work!!! People leave our lives as quickly as they come, but the ones that mean something leave footprints in our hearts. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Now that's the type of poem i would want someone write for me. That was so dang sweet. Made me melt too  Keep it up sweetstuff. Did he melt too?I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
I really enjoyed your poem... You've captured the essence of being in love or finding an innerpeace when gazing into the eyes of one who you can trust completely... Great write  coco |
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sweetstuff101 Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375OK, USA |
acire~ uuumm....no...I never gave it to him...I haven't even seen him since I wrote it. But thanx your reply was so sweet!!! and thank you too cocobaci!!! Much Love, Priscilla ~*~GoOd fRiEnDz ArE hArD 2 FiNd, HaRdEr 2 LeAvE, & iMpOsSiBlE 2 fOrGeT~*~tHe HaRdEsT tHiNg tO Do iS wAtCh tHe 1 U LuV, lUv sUm1 eLsE~*~ |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
I feel this way sometimes too...but your very lucky to have that one person to turn your feelings around and make you feel that one tinge of happiness every now and then just by one glance..ur very fortunate to have that gurl! Great poem |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
very sweet! that's all i gotta say! Salma |
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sweetstuff101 Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375OK, USA |
Thanx You all, you are all so kind!! ~*~GoOd fRiEnDz ArE hArD 2 FiNd, HaRdEr 2 LeAvE, & iMpOsSiBlE 2 fOrGeT~*~tHe HaRdEsT tHiNg tO Do iS wAtCh tHe 1 U LuV, lUv sUm1 eLsE~*~ |
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TrueLUV Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 158Connecticut, U.S.A. |
Very beautiful expression...keep it up |
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