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Teen Poetry #3
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Minister of Dissonance
Junior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 20


0 posted 2000-12-10 10:51 PM


torn by a love i could not know
weighed down by an idol of stone
known once upon a time as the human heart
exposed on a hill to the abusive sun
with chest torn wide by searing knives
mind torn asunder by lobotomistic smiles
and nothing more with which to live
than the splintered remains
of a fire-tempered wooden heart

© Copyright 2000 Minister of Dissonance - All Rights Reserved
kimmy
Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 98

1 posted 2000-12-11 12:02 PM


wow...i loved thie poem...welcome to passions...it was short and yet full of meaningful powerful words..good job...glad you joined...
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2000-12-11 06:36 AM


Welcome to Passions Minister of Dissonance!

We are very happy you have decided to join our community of poetry friendship.

This is a very powerful first post ... very dark and descriptive. I hope to read more of your poetry and your responses to our wonderful family of poets! (check your e-mail for a special message)

Best wishes,
/Kit

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
3 posted 2000-12-11 02:22 PM


Welcome to Passions
Great first poem here, I think you're going to fit in great.  I hope you enjoy it here


"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
4 posted 2000-12-11 04:15 PM


WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!

This poem was short and sweet yet very very powerful with its words. I liked it a lot and i cant wait to see more from you! Welcome!  

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
5 posted 2000-12-11 05:09 PM



  Hi there! Welcome to Passions. I really, really loved this. Lots upon lots upon lots....the way it was written kinda makes me shiver...great job.

  ~Carly

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
6 posted 2000-12-12 04:30 PM


welcome to passions!!!
amazing poem....sometime short poems convey the most powerful emotions!!!
Regina
aka Ina

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
7 posted 2000-12-12 09:04 PM


Deep, dark, expressive. Not bad at all!   Welcome to Passions!!
xoxo
Jenn


"A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ??

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
8 posted 2000-12-13 02:12 PM


Welcome to Passions pal.
Good poem, I love the transition on how the heart was there.....being torn......and then on a hill taking the abuse from the sun. I would think it'd turn into some sort of raisin dried heart but apparently became wooden. Good job, tons of symbolism. A wonderful read.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


Minister of Dissonance
Junior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 20

9 posted 2000-12-14 06:23 PM


thank you all

dope (doesn't seem right to call you 'dopey'): the ancient greeks and romans used to rid themselves of unwanted or illegitimate children by "exposing" them on a hillside -- in other words they left them out in the sun unprotected and they would either die from the beating of the sun's merciless rays upon their silken skin or would be devoured in short order by any number of hungry, roving animals.  this is the practice to which i refer in line four.

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
10 posted 2000-12-14 06:51 PM


Welcome to passions!!!I hope that you enjoy it here!!! Good first post...Hope to see more by you!!!

People leave our lives as quickly as they come, but the ones that mean something leave footprints in our hearts.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
11 posted 2000-12-14 09:38 PM


You seem to be wise beyond your years. I love the story behind what happened to your heart then. Wonderful! Really interesting stuff, I must say. Keep it coming! I really like to read everything you post up.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

12 posted 2000-12-14 09:51 PM


This is great.  I really admire your work.  "Wise beyond your years," indeed you are.  Look forward to more posts from you.

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

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