»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #3
»
Endless Days
| Teen Poetry #3 |
|
Endless Days |
|
|
peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Rrrriigghht. Please don't hold me accountable for my lack of coherent writing... lol. Vreni Endless Days Endless days with longer nights, Tired motions of a constant fight. My mind is trapped, disconnected, A soul lays barren, unprotected. Endless days with longer nights, Peppered with that ceaseless fright. Perhaps this dawn will bring nirvana, Shelter from history’s prima donna. Endless days with longer nights, Impassioned lies they do ignite. Reality of dreams my eyes evade, Hypocrisy’s army my thoughts invade. Endless days with longer nights, Insanity controls with all its might. A ball of belief slowly unwinds, Darkness of doubt deepens, blinds. Endless days with longer nights, Perhaps the final tick’s in sight. But Time’s hourglass now is clogged. With eternity’s beat, I am flogged. |
||
| © Copyright 2000 peanogrl83 - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
This was excellent Vreni! Really loved the rhythm and flow in this piece. The repetition of the first line worked beautifully, and the wording throughout was wonderful! Well done!  Best wishes, /Kit |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I really like this poem and I swear Kit stole everything I was going to say, so I'll say it again: "This was excellent Vreni! Really loved the rhythm and flow in this piece. The repetition of the first line worked beautifully, and the wording throughout was wonderful! Well done! "Great work "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
||
|
IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
I'll be brief and to the point. This was great and you are very talented. Can't wait till the next one, IsGona< !signature--> "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ [This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 12-11-2000).] |
||
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Wow, you really have talent. I love everything you do... ~Carly |
||
|
kimmy Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 98 |
i agree with kit and lakewalker...the flow and repetiton of the first line was a wonderful idea...great work..i loved it.. |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Vreni, this was simply wonderful. I love everything about you.......i'll get off the poem cuz everybody commented on it. I just wanna say that its a shear pleasure knowing you. Mua! Much love  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
