»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #3
»
Uncomfortable
| Teen Poetry #3 |
|
Uncomfortable |
|
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people 
|
Uncomfortable She asked me why I won't go, uncomfortable, oh, how strange, I want to be with her there but she's there to be with him, my feelings would get so mixed, I wouldn't know where to begin. Yet I have to find a way to say that I can't go, and make it sound real, without giving away how confused my thoughts already are about her, and us, and him, and it's uncomfortable, oh, just how strange! Yeah. Please reply to this, if you love it or like it, tell my why, if you hate it, tell me why. If it didn't do anything for you and you have some suggestions, tell me what you think! But please, do reply  "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Lakewalker - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought this poem was great due to the amount of expression put into it. It's not one of those deep poems containing symbolism and complex analogies, but deep in the sense of feeling and emotional content within it. Great job on this one lake. *throws a roll of TP at your face and smirks then scurries away*  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
||
|
IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
A post from Lake Walker??? I hear these are quite rare. lol Now seriously I really liked this poem because you came out and said exactly what you were thinking. And I like how you repeated "uncomfortable, oh, just how strange!" I think that line really sums up the poem. *Tripps Dopey Dope as he scurries away*  IsGona< !signature--> "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ [This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 12-08-2000).] |
||
xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
I liked this poem. You made it very clear that you were confused...and i would be too if i were you. But i did like it |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
I love to see you posting Lakewalker, and I enjoyed this! It had an almost conversational appeal that made this dilemma you described very genuine ... you described the emotional aspects vividly ... well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
||
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
I just loved the style in this one, it was different from the 'normal' patterns we usually see and I liked that. Super job! ~Carly |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
*gets up and brushes the dirt off of him* *whine* LLLaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkeeeeeeeee.....Isgona tripped meeeeeeeeeeeee........ *cries* I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Dopey- thanks for the nice comment IsGona- I post not too regularly, it's true, and lol at tripping Dopey xShUgArHiGhx- Thanks for the reply  Kit- Thanks for the great reply!  Carly- I usually don't write in "normal" patterns, I'm glad you like this! Dopey- I think that's the first time i've ever seen you cry. Are you going to be ok???< !signature--> "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com [This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 12-09-2000).] |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Somehow this got moved onto the next page, hmmmm, how could that happen? Don't more people want to read this? "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
||
|
Greeneyes617 Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329Arkansas |
Good poem. I know how this feels. |
||
|
Hallie_Angel Member
since 2000-12-06
Posts 102 |
kool poem |
||
|
Minister of Dissonance Junior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 20 |
had conflicts of ideology, things are always easier on the outside looking in *scorch* the great dissonant one |
||
|
keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
I really liked this one,the confusion that is displayed is something I can closely relate to. We need to see these more often. Jon |
||
|
Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Lakewalker! Hey you're posting....! Loving it loving it! Anyway, I really got the point of your mixed feelings here. It was very apparent how confused and "uncomfortable" a situation like that would be... Post more for us!! xoxo Jenn *Gives Isgona a high five for making Dopey weep... hehehe, wuss* < !signature-->"A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ?? [This message has been edited by Jenn Cirrincione (edited 12-11-2000).] |
||
|
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
LakeWalker, It was a great poem. The emotions were strong, but not severe. It seemed to me perhaps you were talk ing about someone who broke your heart....Its was great. REgina aka Ina |
||
|
Hallie_Angel Member
since 2000-12-06
Posts 102 |
Dear Lakewalker, I really enjoy your poems and your words. They are so deep and unforgettable. I wish I could write like you. I think you are totaly awesome and I can't wait to see you as the next Robert Frost! Keep them Coming babe! Catherine!!! |
||
|
Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Yes I agree with you!! Well written and yes! that's all I can say - well done - good job! Melz!! |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Thank you so much for the replies, I'm glad you read my poem "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
*wipes the tears from his eyes* Thanks for your concern lake walker....shows character and kindness..... and as for Jenn and IsGona....GRrrrrrr....*throws brown snow at them* (giggles) tee-hee I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Thanks Dopey And no brown snow, that's just wrong !"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
||
|
katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this poem is really good! hope it all works out for you! |
||
|
apsara Member
since 2000-11-09
Posts 70 |
Hmm that poem sounds so confused. I like it. apsara |
||
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
i liked it, such common feelings... good job on this one bud! jeremy r "...if you've never met me, then you've no right to judge me. I have a good heart, but this heart can get ugly." ~DMX~ |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
This one was odd... I'm not sure if I liked it as much as I did any of your others. It didn't really have a format or rhyme scheme... this kinda made it just seem like you were talking. Ah, well. Congrats on the big 2000. ~Allan Its rather handy being at the top of the food chain...you can sort things out and not get the blame for it. ~~Elizabeth Johnson (anonymousfemale) |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
