Teen Poetry #3 |
Where do we go from here?(Part of a song written by me) |
chic Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245yellville, Ar, U.S. |
Here is a song I am writing or atleast part of it. Here we are going through our life. We are not alone for we always share our strife. We are free to worship and praise. We are not afraid for your banner we will raise. chorus: Where do we go from here? Please show us the way. Almighty God to you alone we pray. There we go up to heavens sky. To peace and mercy on wings of love we shall fly. Maybe it should be somewhere else, but I thought ya'll would like to look at it "Life is a game and we have to play, but in the end...we all die."-by me! |
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© Copyright 2000 Barbara Mendoza - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I like where you're going with this Do you mind if I make a comment though? I think the life/strife rhyme is way over used, and it might help the song to have a more original rhyme in it. That's just an idea though, it's fine if you don't like it I hope you don't mind me suggesting this, I know it was originally an idea you posted in Explorer. Anyway, nice job with it, I'd like to see it if more is added! "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
I saw your post in a different forum looking for Ideas on this song. I tried to come up with something but drew blanks. The only thing I kept thinking is rymeing here with steer. Like.. Where do we go from here? I think I'll let God steer but couldn't come up with any thing good. I think you did a good job. Glad I didn't bother puting my input in IsGona "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well I liked the song......screw what lake said! haha. He's my pal!! No but seriously, the song sounds like its flowing great. Lake was right about the life/strife ryhme being over used. It fits the song though and I often use it myself......i'm trying to get out of the cliché ryhmes. Once again, great song! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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chic Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245yellville, Ar, U.S. |
Thanx for the replies LW- Give me another word that rhymes with life and goes with the song and I will gladly substitute it IsGona- Thanx for the input and I always welcome help from a fellow poet Dopey_Dope- Thanx for the support And thanx for the positive thinking LOLj/k "Life is a game and we have to play, but in the end...we all die."-by me! |
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chic Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245yellville, Ar, U.S. |
*bump* "Life is a game and we have to play, but in the end...we all die."-by me! |
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