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Teen Poetry #3
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A Walk
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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A Walk |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
Tell me your story i'll try to look empathetic The soup's gone cold you're so pathetic I'll lend you my ear, share your insecurities you can't hide it from me i know your impurities I'll share my tongue sharp and forked long slashing your throat with answers you deemed wrong Slant is all behind us it's time for truth redeemed the nights were long while you perversely dreamed I'll tell you the story how you lied repeatedly turning it around to dissipate so quickly Yes i watched you fade Like night's clock descending your soul turned cold afraid while you knelt repenting Swift as a shadow, short as any dream; Brief as the lightning in the collied night, That in a spleen unfolds both heaven and earth, And ere a ma |
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| © Copyright 2000 Hoppy - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Hoppy, I really liked this one. I thought it flowed wonderfully and the choice of words is great. Anyway i really think you have tons upon tons of talent and look forward for your next post.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Good job on this one hoppy! I really like how that last stanza is written, nice job  "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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