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Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

0 posted 2000-11-24 03:17 PM


I can not allow myself to
continue to be deceived.  Don't you
realize what your words do
to my soul?  They grip my mind
and quench any desires they can find,
leaving memories that are not kind.
Living on without true peace
in me, I need you to release
the freedom so this pain will cease.


November 16, 2000

Note-I have no idea where this came from, it's not from any personal experiences.  I have no pains that I know of, anyway.  Even if you don't like it, reply so I know what you think  

< !signature-->

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

http://www.thehungersite.com


[This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 11-24-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Lakewalker - All Rights Reserved
Morouxshi San
Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2000-11-24 03:27 PM


it was a very good poem lakewalker.
just a comment on what you said, i dont beleave poetry always has to be about lived experiences, it is a way of expressing something that overfloods you with emotion happy or otherwise, and maybe that wich you have not lived is what you actualy feel as if it would have happened.
its all in the human brain, remarkable...


San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
2 posted 2000-11-24 03:40 PM


Yeah, I see what you're saying, and I know poems don't always have to be from experinces. That's an interesting thought you have:
"maybe that wich you have not lived is what you actualy feel as if it would have happened."
Thanks for the reply!


"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

http://www.thehungersite.com

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2000-11-25 03:16 AM


Hey San, cut the crap......we all know you make all this stuff up!

hahaha......anyway great poem lake!!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2000-11-25 09:54 AM


True to life or not ... nicely expressed Lakewalker!  It reminds me of a "turning point" in someone's life, realizing that a change is needed in order to gain peace, and move forward with contentment. Nicely done!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
5 posted 2000-11-25 07:34 PM


Lakewalker: Some of the best pieces of poetry come from not knowng where their origins are. Life experiences add the extra element of relation but to write a piece based on whats in your heart or your subconscience is an indication that you are able to write no matter what mood you are in.

This piece itself is good and to me it shows a person struggling for a chance at freedom due to being supressed by a dominant figuure.

You should hold onto this piece for one day it may help you or someone else.

~AF~

"Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement."
Christopher Fry


curlygurly
Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276
USA
6 posted 2000-11-25 08:00 PM


This was awesome, you really expressed, well something. it was pretty deep for not having it relate to anything  
Curly


"So many tears i've cried, so much pain inside"
-Lenny Kravitz


Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
7 posted 2000-11-26 12:06 PM


Hey,
Thanks for the great replies, I appreciate them!

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
8 posted 2000-11-27 03:13 PM


I hate to do this, but can I be greedy and get some more replies???

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
9 posted 2000-11-27 03:33 PM


Of course you could be greedy.

Lakewalker~
You may have no pain but you showed some emotions that other people are going through. And its good that you arent going through this. Good work!!!


People leave our lives as quickly as they come, but the ones that mean something leave footprints in our hearts.

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
10 posted 2000-11-28 12:57 PM



  Hey. You deserve to be greedy! Heh, well I really liked this. Maybe all that stuuff San said is not just crap but true...hmmmmmmmmm..

  ~Carly

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
11 posted 2001-03-30 03:36 PM


I love the scheme of rhyme in this!  Very original, this was a creative piece!
~Allan

Its rather handy being at the top of the food chain...you can sort things out and not get the blame for it.  ~~Elizabeth Johnson (anonymousfemale)

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