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Teen Poetry #3
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Releasing Within Me
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Releasing Within Me |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people 
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I can not allow myself to continue to be deceived. Don't you realize what your words do to my soul? They grip my mind and quench any desires they can find, leaving memories that are not kind. Living on without true peace in me, I need you to release the freedom so this pain will cease. November 16, 2000 Note-I have no idea where this came from, it's not from any personal experiences. I have no pains that I know of, anyway. Even if you don't like it, reply so I know what you think  < !signature--> "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! http://www.thehungersite.com [This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 11-24-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lakewalker - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Morouxshi San Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207San Juan, Puerto Rico |
it was a very good poem lakewalker. just a comment on what you said, i dont beleave poetry always has to be about lived experiences, it is a way of expressing something that overfloods you with emotion happy or otherwise, and maybe that wich you have not lived is what you actualy feel as if it would have happened. its all in the human brain, remarkable... San, the wise San, the dumb San, the guy... |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Yeah, I see what you're saying, and I know poems don't always have to be from experinces. That's an interesting thought you have: "maybe that wich you have not lived is what you actualy feel as if it would have happened." Thanks for the reply! "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Hey San, cut the crap......we all know you make all this stuff up! hahaha......anyway great poem lake!!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
True to life or not ... nicely expressed Lakewalker! It reminds me of a "turning point" in someone's life, realizing that a change is needed in order to gain peace, and move forward with contentment. Nicely done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Lakewalker: Some of the best pieces of poetry come from not knowng where their origins are. Life experiences add the extra element of relation but to write a piece based on whats in your heart or your subconscience is an indication that you are able to write no matter what mood you are in. This piece itself is good and to me it shows a person struggling for a chance at freedom due to being supressed by a dominant figuure. You should hold onto this piece for one day it may help you or someone else. ~AF~ "Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement." Christopher Fry |
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curlygurly Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276USA |
This was awesome, you really expressed, well something. it was pretty deep for not having it relate to anything Curly "So many tears i've cried, so much pain inside" -Lenny Kravitz |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Hey, Thanks for the great replies, I appreciate them! "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I hate to do this, but can I be greedy and get some more replies??? "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Of course you could be greedy. Lakewalker~ You may have no pain but you showed some emotions that other people are going through. And its good that you arent going through this. Good work!!! People leave our lives as quickly as they come, but the ones that mean something leave footprints in our hearts. |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey. You deserve to be greedy! Heh, well I really liked this. Maybe all that stuuff San said is not just crap but true...hmmmmmmmmm.. ~Carly |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I love the scheme of rhyme in this! Very original, this was a creative piece! ~Allan Its rather handy being at the top of the food chain...you can sort things out and not get the blame for it. ~~Elizabeth Johnson (anonymousfemale) |
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