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Teen Poetry #3
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That Dreaded Day, This is
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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That Dreaded Day, This is |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people 
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That dreaded day of death is here and I sit and listen while I cry at the emptyness in my heart and soul not knowing why she had to die. It came so sudden, It came so soon my life left with her last breath and we were gone, would never return then it stuck me: this is death. This was my first poem posted on Passions, it was originally posted in Open Poetry #9. It had the title "Friend", but I don't think that fits right, and I don't think this one does either, but it's something. < !signature--> "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! http://www.thehungersite.com [This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 11-24-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lakewalker - All Rights Reserved | |||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Lake, This is a great first post. I'm glad that you decided to re-post it for us here. It's such a sad piece, though. I hope that it doesn't apply to you. As for a title, I'm not very good with those, but "This is death" might be good. Thanks for sharing. "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was great lake.....the title is just fine......Nice to see you posting. oh...and im back....mwhahaha!!! i was in jersey for a week....yep i finally got out of Puerto Rico....hehe. So yea im back and just playing CATCH-UP  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Very sad and moving...as for a title, I'd shorten it down to "Dreaded Day". Just a thought. Again, good work!  *Krista Knutson* "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." Helen Keller |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
hi there, short and concise poem..i enjoyed  before reading the replies, i thought that if it were my poem, i would title it "Death"....now i see that Lovebug has the same idea too.... |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Thank you all for replying and for helping me with the title. I still don't know what i'm going to use, I liked all of your suggestions. Maybe someday I'll find the one that's perfect. And Dopey, welcome back "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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branden726
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
Hey your always there for me replying to my poems so i figure its my turn. This poem was so touching and Whatever you want to title it would just make the poem beter. Great Great Job. ~Branden~ |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Lakewalker~ Your first poem!!!Wow it is a good one. My first poem was ok. You probably read it. But Im glad that you shared this one with us. Keep up the good work!!! People leave our lives as quickly as they come, but the ones that mean something leave footprints in our hearts. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Branden and Erin, thanks for the replies  "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Pretty good job, Lakewalker. I think the last line was well thought-out. ~Allan Its rather handy being at the top of the food chain...you can sort things out and not get the blame for it. ~~Elizabeth Johnson (anonymousfemale) |
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