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Teen Poetry #3
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Outside, wait...
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Outside, wait... |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people 
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Outside, wait, I'm stuck within, can't feel, can't breath, tight spaces enclosed around my thoughts, squeezing, holding, gripping, tighter, harder, holding strong I soon must give up, and there I lie curled up and dead, dead from lonely confusion, rejected from a harsh, cruel world. September 30, 2000 I tend to exagerate my pain and this is from a while ago, don't worry  "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! http://www.thehungersite.com |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lakewalker - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Hey this was another great one. I sense a lot of desperation in this one. I hope it's all good now ya know? Keep it real dawg haha......homey G! adios!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
Great poem, you expess your pain well. I hope that you were'nt really feeling that bad. |
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niceguy Member
since 2000-11-13
Posts 113Sapello, NM, USA |
This is a good poem...really speaks. You really know how to express yourself and you have a way with words. Hope everything is alright now. Keep writing. niceguy "Don't take love for granted...once it's gone, it hurts." |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
i like all the short words and repetition of them in this poem, also the desperation factor is neat jeremy r "...if you've never met me, then you've no right to judge me. I have a good heart, but this heart can get ugly." ~DMX~ |
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silvrduck Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146 |
Wow, this is a really good poem! It was so expressive, I could really feel it. Keep up the great work!! Hope everything is ok now, too ~Sarah with the unknown comes no expectations in this i find my peace |
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Lani_DarkOne Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152UK |
I can really sense those feelings from those powerful words... Yes..I think you caught the moment.. Keep it up Lakewalker..  "Controlling my feelings for too long.... And forcing our darkest souls to unfold... And pushing us into self-destruction...." *~Muse*~ |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Thank you for the replies everyone, I love getting them "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! http://www.thehungersite.com |
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chic Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245yellville, Ar, U.S. |
Great poem LW. You sound as about reply hungry as I am  LOLj/k"Life is a game and we have to play, but in the end...we all die."-by me! |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Well I certainly like getting replies, so thank you for yours "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! http://www.thehungersite.com |
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niceguy Member
since 2000-11-13
Posts 113Sapello, NM, USA |
I just wanted to say again that this poem is great. You have a very good way with words. Keep writing. niceguy "Don't take love for granted...once it's gone, it hurts." |
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curlygurly Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276USA |
This poem was excellent. you really showed your pain well. this was just another great poem! Curly "So many tears i've cried, so much pain inside" -Lenny Kravitz |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
niceguy, thanks for posting again, you are very nice! curlygurly-thanks for replying "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! http://www.thehungersite.com |
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chic Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245yellville, Ar, U.S. |
Well as one reply happy person to another I say again...nice poem "Life is a game and we have to play, but in the end...we all die."-by me! |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Lakewalker, this was great!! Sounds like something I would write hehe. I'm glad this particular pain is over...Great words. ~Carly A word is dead When it is said Some say, I say it just Begins to live That day. |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
We all feel like we are trapped sometime in our lives. Pain is such a real feeling and it's hard to deal with it. No matter who you are everyone will go through some type of pain in their lives and it's different for everyone.This poem was very touching and keep up the awsome work. Lauren |
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Morouxshi San Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207San Juan, Puerto Rico |
lakewalker, i want you to know that i am not replying just because you reply to all of mine and its the obvious thing to do. even if you wouldnt reply to mine id still reply to this one cause it is a incredible poem. wonderful word selection. magnific overall. san dont lie people... San, the wise San, the dumb San, the guy... |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Lake, this is a really great poem. I can really relate to being the outsider, but I can't always say that I long to be inside. You describe your feelings well, however. Thanks for sharing this great piece. "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
dead from lonely confusion rejected from a harsh, cruel world been there before...i admire the way you were able to translate your pain into words...i am not that strong unfortunately Good work |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
This is a wonderfully written poem. I can really relate to it. Sometimes this world can seem to big and overbearing to take on alone. You did a great job of expressing this sence of helplessness "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
this is a really good one eventhough it's short. very discriptive poem Lakewalker..an awesome read indeed. Keep em coming I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Exaggeration is necessary at many times. You pulled it off in this piece, your pain seemed all that much more real. Well done. ~Allan Its rather handy being at the top of the food chain...you can sort things out and not get the blame for it. ~~Elizabeth Johnson (anonymousfemale) |
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