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Teen Poetry #3
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Died (and a bonus!)
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Died (and a bonus!) |
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Morouxshi San Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Note: messed up i know. -=Died=- Guess who died today his reality shattered then scattered by insecurity i saw him this morning, he was fine all he knew, all he thought to hell with plans to hell with the good he brought i saw him this afternoon, he was fine wasnt he perfect? wasnt he flawless? wasnt he perfect?! Guess who died today... -San Note: this one i wrote right after this, maybe youd like to read it too... -=fulfilled=- After your dreams are fullfilled, please look ad me and smile. After your reality is fullfulled, please bury my body. -San San, the wise San, the dumb San, the guy... |
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| © Copyright 2000 Morouxshi San - All Rights Reserved | |||
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brendon2k Junior Member
since 2000-05-11
Posts 38none |
really enjoyed both of the poems. excelent writing. the first one i really enjoyed, unique from what im used to, i really liked it. overall, wonderful poems. |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Wow. These are some really great poems. I had to read them a few times before I knew what I thaught of them. I'm not sure if I totaly understand the first one. It seems it could have a couple of meanings. As long as you know, that's what counts... I really enjoyed these though. They really provoked me to think. Thanks IsGona "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey there. Wowza, these were great...I liked the second one better maybe...but I can kinda connect the first one more..I think... Stupenderific job... ~Carly |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
I can tell that these poems have deep meanings to them... but I'm completely clueless as to what those meanings are. Sorry! I'm just not understanding what you wrote here. I'm sure if you explained a little, I might be able to catch on a bit. xoxo Jenn< !signature--> "Guess I'm not smart, I let you un-nerve me, I let you control me; afraid the truth would hurt me, when it's you that hurts me more." TLC [This message has been edited by Jenn Cirrincione (edited 11-24-2000).] |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I guess I couldn't help but pick a favorite, I always do that when people post poems together. I liked the first one better. That one had a more powerful feeling in it to me, it was done very well. I do think the second one is good. I wonder if i would have reacted more to it if I hadn't read the first one right before it? Ok, I think I'm heading towards rambling, so I'm gonna stop. Excellent job  "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Hey San.......this was great!!! I liked it but lake is right....the first one has a lot more power. Great job on both!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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