»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #3
»
BeSt FrIeNds
| Teen Poetry #3 |
|
BeSt FrIeNds |
|
xShUgArHiGhx 
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
In my eyes your perfection, You grow in my heart more, With every kiss. With your arms wrapped around me, I fall into complete bliss. You care for me like no other, Lift me when i fall. Your my shoulder to cry on, By my side through it all. So why cant i have you? Its because of her and her ways, To totally dismiss you, Through each and every day. You always want what you cant have, Crave what you dont posses. Your in my reach, But yet, Im overwhelmed with loneliness. Give up on her, Try it out with me. You told me yourself, If it wasnt for her, I'd be with you and you with me. Well let her go, I'm right here. Loving you all i can. But i look at you, And i see her reflection in your eyes, And see im only your best friend. [This message has been edited by xShUgArHiGhx (edited 11-23-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Michele - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
layla Member
since 2000-11-19
Posts 74 |
Wow, i can't tell u how much i can identify with this poem. it really states ur feeings very well. I hope this boy realizes how great u r very soon. goodluck! and great poem. keep writing! Layla |
||
|
niceguy Member
since 2000-11-13
Posts 113Sapello, NM, USA |
Sugar...this poem left me speechless. Reading it really let me feel what you may have been feeling when you went through this. When I was going out with my ex five months ago today, my friend(who was becoming my best friend) was always there for me, gave me ideas on how to keep the relationship going strong and was there if I ever needed help. I found out that she liked me...a lot actually and if it wasn't for my ex...I would have gone out with her right then. My ex and I broke up(duh..ex...you kind of have to break up to be an ex huh?) and I was really messed up. But she was there for me and I saw her for the great person she was, on the inside and out and now her and I are together. If it's meant to be girl...things will fall into place. Like you said..it just may take time. Hope that everything works out for the best. Laterz. "Don't take love for granted...once it's gone, it hurts." |
||
|
Words_of_Glitter Member
since 2000-10-25
Posts 90USA |
Wow, this poem was great! I thought it was going to be some sort of dedication to a girl best friend, but you surprised me! I really liked the last two lines. I would just make some suggestions that you can take with a grain of sand if you like... Change 2 lovebirds in a tree because it is too corny and makes it seem like you're trying to hard to rhyme. And the last two lines...instead of using AND I SEE for both lines, use something like... "And see her image reflected in your eyes I, in turn, realize that I am only your best friend" Of course, these are just suggestions and I think this poem rocks! "Do not marry the one that you can live with. Marry the one you cannot live without." |
||
|
xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Layla: Thank you very much for your reply...its nice to know that people can identify how i feel. Niceguy: Im sooo glad you liked it and im so happy i could portray my feelings well enough in my words so you could understand exactly how i was feeling =o) Glitter: Thank you for the suggestions...i took them into thought and i changed the corny part lol your right it was corny but i wasnt trying to get that to rhyme..it was actually along the lines of something he meant to be while trying to be serious/guy-funny at the same time Thank you all for your replies! |
||
branden726
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
I think i have to agree.....wow! great poem i mean i really like this one just like the tons of other ones i read here i like. This one is like WHOA. It shows so much meaning lovley poem. ~*Branden*~ |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Well this situation certainly doesn't sound great for you, but you've written about it very well, I think you did an excellent job on this one.< !signature--> "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! http://www.thehungersite.com [This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 11-23-2000).] |
||
|
kimmy Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 98 |
this was a really good poem..i can totally relate to this..i went through the exact same thing..so i can understand where you are coming from..but i really like your poem. |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This poem rocked. I liked it very much! keep it up shugar!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
||
|
vix616 Junior Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 22 |
Great poem sugar - i really made me understand how u feel, and i can also relate it to my own situation. Keep up the excellent work vicki..xx |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
