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Teen Poetry #3
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Alone Again is the original title, but i need a betta one...
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Alone Again is the original title, but i need a betta one... |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI 
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Alone again, I'm left to taste The merriment from which I've flown. Lighthearted laughs in which we baste Breathe silent breaths from nothing known. Alone again, eyes roll and scream; Cry out for lover's gentle touch. The shadows haunt, the darkness gleams As ravens feast on hearts and such. Alone again, breath cold and light; I wish from captives to be free. Yet goblins, in their fun and spite Refuse to hear this lonely plea. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved | |||
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curlygurly Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276USA |
That was kinda sad, but very true. i like alone again, i think since it starts every stanza it's the perfect title. awesome poem!  Curly "So many tears i've cried, so much pain inside" -Lenny Kravitz |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
BLARRRRRRRG....i feel sick. Anyway another great poem....no comment on the title thing cuz if i come up with a good one i'd most likely use it for myself. Anyway great poem!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
That sounds like a perfectly fine title to me. The poem itself is very well done, you did a great job on it! I really like the first two lines of this, they just seem so....i dunno....perfect "Alone again, I'm left to taste The merriment from which I've flown." "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! http://www.thehungersite.com |
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niceguy Member
since 2000-11-13
Posts 113Sapello, NM, USA |
Keep the title...it fits this perfect. This poem is sad but very moving. When I was reading it I got all kinds of pictures in my head of lonliness and longing for someone to hold you...great poem. keep writing. "Don't take love for granted...once it's gone, it hurts." |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wonderful Child of the Stars! Tender and thoughtful sentiments ... and I loved the flow and rhythm in this piece! Very nicely done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey everyone. Thanks for replyin!! Dopey, feel better.. Well thanks again people. ~Carly A word is dead When it is said Some say, I say it just Begins to live That day. |
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Rhiannon Member
since 1999-07-28
Posts 95Fayetteville, TN USA |
I loved this! I aspire to be as eloquent as you keep it up.love, leslie The night is my companion The solitude my guide Would I spend forever here And not be satisfied? Sarah MacLachlan, "Possession" |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
I agree w/ every one else here. This is a great poem. Hope this trend of being lonely is broken soon. IsGona <font color="blue"><i>"Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN"</i> <font color="blue" face="amaze"><b>~Ha |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey, thanks you two. I'm not feelin so lonely anymore... ~Carly A word is dead When it is said Some say, I say it just Begins to live That day. |
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Dean Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 120Canada |
Keep your head up girl! I ton't lie to you just when you think things suck the get worse but if your strong and stick it out things adventually get better. I'm living proof! mUCH lOVE dEAN "Live to love or why live at all" Deano :) |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
first of all, let me pick my heart of from the floor. I don't know about everyone else but I find this poem to be of GREATNESS. WOW!!! this is really good. your way with words is astonishing me. keep it up girl. keep sharing so i may learn from you  I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Thank you guys so much. Acire, I wasn't aware that I could influence someone that much..hehe...thank you again for your praises and kind words. I love you guys!! ~Carly |
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CareBear3 Junior Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 39New Hampshire |
this was great the words worked so well together.....the title is great if you really wanted lonlieness or.... fear or....heartbroken...or even your title is great! its a good poem.....any title would work! nice job "In great moments life seems neither right nor wrong but something greater it seems inevitable" ~Kelley |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I'm sorry...but I have to say this...I HATE it when people say "This is said but...". What's wrong with sadness? It's completely natural and it's just as important as happiness. Anyway, sorry just had to let that out. You're poem was BEAUTIFUL. I know how you feel on this one...you'll be oke though...just give it time. I can't think of a better title right now, sorry. I have a hard enough time thinking of my own. 'Twas great! Angel< !signature--> In order to be good one must know evil. ~*Angel of Darkness*~ [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (edited 12-04-2000).] |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Thank you so much for reading this. I think that it is the only poem I have written where I have felt every single emotion and thought every single thought. Thanks again, you guys really are the best ~Carly |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
This was definitely a very good display of your talent, Carly. The topic was simple but you used all your resources to just make it glow. It's very well done, in that it displays many aspects of you as a poet! ~Allan Its rather handy being at the top of the food chain...you can sort things out and not get the blame for it. ~~Elizabeth Johnson (anonymousfemale) |
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