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Teen Poetry #3
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A Walk
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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A Walk |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
Ok i know my other poems have been....lacking...but this is a brand spankin' new one that i think is halfway decent....give some feedback to a struggling artist  Tell me your story i'll try to look empathetic The soup's gone cold you're so pathetic I'll lend you my ear, share your insecurities you can't hide it from me i know your impurities I'll share my tongue sharp and forked long slashing your throat with answers you deemed wrong Slant is all behind us it's time for truth redeemed the nights were long while you perversely dreamed I'll tell you the story how you lied repeatedly turning it around to dissipate so quickly Yes i watched you fade Like night's clock descending your soul turned cold afraid while you knelt repenting Swift as a shadow, short as any dream; Brief as the lightning in the collied night, That in a spleen unfolds both heaven and earth, And ere a ma |
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| © Copyright 2000 Hoppy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Morouxshi San Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207San Juan, Puerto Rico |
im going to bed now, but i just HAD to reply to this one. excellent poem, i kinda found some continuity (im crazy) in it and i loved it. excellent poem. San, the wise San, the dumb San, the guy... |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I guess San liked it, and i can surely see why. A great poem!  "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Yeah, I think this one is really good! "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! http://www.thehungersite.com |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
thanks for the.....deep comments Swift as a shadow, short as any dream; Brief as the lightning in the collied night, That in a spleen unfolds both heaven and earth, And ere a ma |
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curlygurly Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276USA |
This was a great poem, like they've said so far. I liked it, nicely done Curly "So many tears i've cried, so much pain inside" -Lenny Kravitz |
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