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emptyness
Member

since 2000-03-09

Posts 95
mobile,Ala,USA

0 posted 2000-11-06 08:00 PM

i was shot in the left leg when i couldnt walk with you
i was shot in the right when i couldnt walk up and sit with you
i was shot in the right arm when i couldnt hold your hand
in the left when i couldnt help you up when you fell
i was shot in the belly when i couldnt eat a meal with you
i was shot in the head when i couldnt see what you were thinking
i was shot in the heart when i couldnt love you
but mabey one day you or someone else will fill these holes
in my tortured body

"Cogito ergo sum"-I think, therefore I exist
"Post bellum auxilium"~where were you when i needed you

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

1 posted 2000-11-06 10:02 PM

Hey, interesting way of putting this, like you were shot, I like how you've described this feeling. I hope someone does come to help you fill your holes. Good job on the poem

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

http://www.thehungersite.com

Erin
Member Elite

since 2000-06-15

Posts 2527
~Chicago~

2 posted 2000-11-06 10:11 PM

This was really creative...One day someone will fill those holes for you with love...And waiting for it makes it even more worth it!!!

~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2000-11-07 01:03 AM

Eventually somebody will come along and fill in your void of sorrow....but hey what do I know.....im only a dope.

"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

4 posted 2000-11-07 03:13 PM

Wow, I love the metaphors you use in this piece. This is some powerful writing, and I know that the holes will be filled someday. I hope writing this helped you feel better.

False gems may shine as brightly as the genuine article, but there are always those who can tell the difference.

pharon
Member

since 1999-11-13

Posts 251
alabama

5 posted 2000-11-07 07:20 PM

there is no way i can respond to this w/o wanting to put my foot in my mouth afterwards. so all i will say is that you, as always, hit close to home w/that one. and besides everything else, very well written.

pharon

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