Teen Poetry #3 |
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emptyness Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 95mobile,Ala,USA |
i was shot in the left leg when i couldnt walk with you i was shot in the right when i couldnt walk up and sit with you i was shot in the right arm when i couldnt hold your hand in the left when i couldnt help you up when you fell i was shot in the belly when i couldnt eat a meal with you i was shot in the head when i couldnt see what you were thinking i was shot in the heart when i couldnt love you but mabey one day you or someone else will fill these holes in my tortured body "Cogito ergo sum"-I think, therefore I exist "Post bellum auxilium"~where were you when i needed you |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Hey, interesting way of putting this, like you were shot, I like how you've described this feeling. I hope someone does come to help you fill your holes. Good job on the poem ![]() "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
This was really creative...One day someone will fill those holes for you with love...And waiting for it makes it even more worth it!!! ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Eventually somebody will come along and fill in your void of sorrow....but hey what do I know.....im only a dope. ![]() "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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LoveBug![]()
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Wow, I love the metaphors you use in this piece. This is some powerful writing, and I know that the holes will be filled someday. I hope writing this helped you feel better. False gems may shine as brightly as the genuine article, but there are always those who can tell the difference. |
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pharon Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251alabama |
there is no way i can respond to this w/o wanting to put my foot in my mouth afterwards. so all i will say is that you, as always, hit close to home w/that one. and besides everything else, very well written. pharon |
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