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Teen Poetry #3
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The Hunter
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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The Hunter |
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branden726 
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI 
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The Hunter As I walk through the woods I become a Hunter, As I search for that deer or small game I become a Hunter, As I sit in a deer blind I become a Hunter, As I search for love I become a Hunter, Love is like hunting in some ways, Just like sometimes when your having a rough day and see nothing but you wanna shoot the first thing u see, It sounds like love..when your having troubles with your realationship you just want to shoot it down, But you CANT! You find that deer is a dough or that person you love so much means way to much. This one was kinda dumb just thought i'd try to write something and i did "put the name of the person u love, not in a heart because they alway break but put it in a circle which last forever" |
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| © Copyright 2000 Branden Jacobs - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
I liked your thoughts in this Branden ... I'd love to see you take this poem even further in depth, it's a wonderful analogy! Keep up the great work!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Morouxshi San Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207San Juan, Puerto Rico |
im with Kit on this one, im sure you can give it more depth... maybe playing around with letters. and youre right, it is like hunting. < !signature-->San, the wise San, the dumb San, the guy... [This message has been edited by Morouxshi San (edited 11-06-2000).] |
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branden726
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
Depth? I dont exactly get it, do u mean making my poem sound better? cuz if so i love the idea i am gonna post this poem in the teen explorer right now. "put the name of the person u love, not in a heart because they alway break but put it in a circle which last forever" |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
My defintiton of going into more depth would be adding more details and making it longer, and I think posting it in Explorer is a great idea! I'm sure one of the moderaters will help you out, they usually have good ideas I like this, how you compare them, good job < !signature-->"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! [This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 11-06-2000).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I saw this posted in Explorer......a great poem but i agree with the rest on this. Hopefully you will be guided on how to find the supposed "depth" they are all talking about.  "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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branden726
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
well thanks, i am getting help with this one here in the explorer thanks for replying |
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