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| Teen Poetry #3 |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Wow. Two horrid poems in one night. Vreni Fake A porcelain face, etched in glass Hides an internal monster, alas. Self-depredating and defeating, This demon at your mind is eating. Pretentious and witty you do seem That perfect smile shines and gleams. But woe betide he who looks beyond, Sees the truth of which we are so unfond. Your mask has fallen with a shatter, As superficial ideals fail to matter. Your fairy tale life has ceased to exist, As popularity wanes, fails to subsist. You run to the shelter of your soul, But it shuts you out, refuses to console. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I had a dejavu would reading this poem. Odd eh? Anyway this was great.....Ugh! NOT SUCKY!!!  "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Excellent Vreni! This has a lovely flow and your use of language is very good. I really enjoyed this piece, well done!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Hey, yeah, wow, great job on this as always, it's excellent !"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! |
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Slim Junior Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 49Kentucky, USA |
oooo... nicely done. i really liked this!! great word choice!! Slim "just because you dont know it or havent seen it, doesnt mean it isnt possible" |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
I dont think that I have ever read a bad poem by you...Including this one...You have a way with the words that I wish I had...Thanks for sharing this...Dont be so hard on yourself you are a good writer...I hope the next poem I read by you doesnt say that "its horrid" as you put it...Keep it up!!! ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
i agree with Erin. I think i haven't read any of your poems that i didn't like. They all so magnificently done  I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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curlygurly Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276USA |
well from reading some of your poems, i like ur style girl! this was no exception! great poem Curly "So many tears i've cried, so much pain inside" -Lenny Kravitz |
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pharon Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251alabama |
wow...you just described me [This message has been edited by pharon (edited 11-07-2000).] |
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Rhiannon Member
since 1999-07-28
Posts 95Fayetteville, TN USA |
Reminds me of a poem I wrote once. "Pop culture fantasies Eloquence in nude form And the endless compromise of what we are Follow me in a collage of shadows A tornado of plastic and lipstick Powder smeared across my mirror To blur the image of my hated side My mask is peeling and cracking and They don't like what they see They don't like what they see in me So I smear it all across my face And hide the truth from them" Wonderful poem. I can definitely relate to it. The night is my companion The solitude my guide Would I spend forever here And not be satisfied? Sarah MacLachlan, "Possession" |
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