»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #3
»
UnTiL tHeN....
| Teen Poetry #3 |
|
UnTiL tHeN.... |
|
xShUgArHiGhx 
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Tears are streaming down my face, Viciously stinging my cheeks. I thought this medicine was suppose to help, Within a matter of weeks. Its really hard to stay strong, All i can do is cry. I thought of how this happened to me, And then i asked myself why. Why did i have to be chosen, To lead this life of misery? Why was i stuck, With having emotions, but not letting them be seen? I dont even feel safe with myself, That point i have now reached. That sad gurl inside of me, Has finally been unleashed. I can no longer force a smile upon my face, Or convince myself, Life's not a waste. I just have to keep reminding myself, To take things one day at a time. Till the life that i lost control of, Once again becomes mine. |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Michele - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I think the beginning is great and the ryhme scheme is great.......but just a tip....the flow of the poem, for me, seems to get kinda confusiong within the middle of it. The scheme changed without any apparent breaks between stanzas and so on. It's confusing for everything to be pieced together and then switching a ryhme scheme on me. But hey the message was great and i hope you do get your life back.......  "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
||
|
Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Shugar~ I like this one...I can relate in this part... Its really hard to stay strong, All i can do is cry. Thats how I felt at times in my life...Thank you for sharing this...I do hope things get better for you... ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ |
||
|
Yankee10n20BFF Junior Member
since 2000-11-02
Posts 27T-Town, AL |
I can really relate to this one. I feel like this all of the time it seems like. Everyone says "all you need is time" well, from my experience the longer it has been the harder it hurts. Just hang in there and you will be ok! No matter what you are going through, all you have to do is close your eyes and dream cause no one can take them away from you. |
||
|
Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Hi Sweetheart. Sounds like things are very rough for you right now but you have taken the first step. You are reaching out for help through your writing. It is very difficult to stay strong all by yourself. Reach out to someone who cares. Someone who will listen to you and help you find the strength and the guidence you need through this period of your life. Share you feelings and your pain. Share with anyone who will isten because some where along the line someone will know how show you the path to happiness. I would like you to know that the moderators are always here for you. If you want to talk please e-mail one of us. We are always available and we will help you the best we can to find the help you need. We may be far away from you in miles but we do care in our hearts. Please e-mail.  Marilyn When you are old and grey and full of sleep, And nodding by the fire, take down this book, And slowly read, and dream of the soft look Your eyes had once, and of their shodows deep; How many loved your moments of glad grace, And loved your beauty with love false or true, But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you, And loved the sorrows of your changing face... William Butler Yeats |
||
|
curlygurly Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276USA |
great poem. i know exactly how you feel. times are hard right now and it seems all i can do is cry too. stay strong Curlz "So many tears i've cried, so much pain inside" -Lenny Kravitz |
||
|
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
Tears are streaming down my face, Viciously stinging my cheeks. I thought this medicine was suppose to help, Within a matter of weeks. I'm certainly no expert, but my meager understanding is that finding the correct medication and proper dosage is the greatest challenge the doctors face when trying to help people combat depression. We all know that everyone is different, but that is never more true than when dealing with chemical balances within the human mind. I strongly encourage you to immediately let your doctor know his prescription isn't doing the trick for you. It can sometimes be a long road of trail and error, with you carrying the brunt of the load along each step of the way, but the reward at the end of that long road is worth the effort and patience: a lifetime of balance. I just have to keep reminding myself, To take things one day at a time. Till the life that i lost control of, Once again becomes mine. Amen. With a wonderful attitude like that, and the realization that sometimes the help you seek requires experimentation and time, you are well along the road to eventual happiness. Good luck and God Bless. |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Recognizing your problem is the very first step toward its resolution. You've already accomplished that - and that's wonderful. Keep on writing - don't worry about rhyming, meter, or poetic formats... Just keep on venting with that pen of yours... and definitely take Ron's advice. He's the wisest man I've ever met... Good Luck and God Bless, my friend..  |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
This poem is really good, I thought it flowed fine, but the feeling behind it is used so well too. Really good writing! I hope that things start feeling better for you soon "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
