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Teen Poetry #3
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moonlight
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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moonlight |
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emptyness Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 95mobile,Ala,USA |
moonlight pounds upon my back as i run along the shore i depend upon the cloak or night and the cries of the sea to hide me from the evil that hunts me i can feel it gaining speed behind me i can feel it grow in strength i smell its foul odor and can fell its breath stumbling into the cold waters and look up to see the thing that i tried to run away from so hard i had run and so scared i was to see it i saw myself and i cried i saw the pain and hatred i had instelled into peoples lives i saw the tears they shed i saw the blood i had spilt i saw where i had left them when thay needed me most i saw myself and died "scribere iussit amor" love commanded me to write "Cogito ergo sum"-I think, therefore I exist |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
There were a few typos in this, but other than that I think it's good  The meaning behind it, the self reflection, is very good. Most people have things in their past that they'd rather not have catch up with them, so I'm sure people can relate to this. I wonder though, is what you've done really so bad that you'd die? Well anyway, good job."Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! |
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branden726 
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
hey good poem sounds like somthin from the heart and i like it dont worry about the typos we all know what u mean "put the name of the person u love, not in a heart because they alway break but put it in a circle which last forever" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was great......feeling a little regret arent we? Well i mean........i hope things are ok and stuff. Don't die......face it and ...well......say sorry or something.  "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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curlygurly Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276USA |
WOW this was AWESOME! I had to read it twice to fully get it but it was great. I like how you set it up like something was chasing you but in reality it was just haunting you, LIKE A METAPHOR. wow i got that(english class). great poem, keep it up Curlz "So many tears i've cried, so much pain inside" -Lenny Kravitz |
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pharon Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251alabama |
this is so incredibly insightful and deep that any response i give to it will seem shallow. all i can say is that you left me speechless (once again) you are an incredible poet! pharon |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This is different. Regret or remorse is obviously present in this piece. I like the decriptive ways you brought us to imagine in this poem. Great job...thanks for sharing I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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