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Teen Poetry #3
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Coming back for more (please read, need some feedback today!)
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Coming back for more (please read, need some feedback today!) |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC 
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This is about the same girl that I have written all my recent poetry/songs about. I am going out with someone else today, and she is a little sad/jealous. I'm still in love with her, and I need to tell her. I am going to mail this to her, well based on the responses I get. Last time I did it wrong Don’t even know what I did right I was acting like a fool Didn’t do anything but fight As soon as you walked in the door You were ready to settle the score Letting it eat at you all day Trying to figure out what to say Cause you knew that when you came I would be ready to place the blame But girl it went both ways Now I’m trying to get you to stay I’m coming back for you I know this love must be true We both got hurt once before I’ll understand if you’re quite unsure But baby, I’m coming back for more We all know times get tough You may feel you’ve had enough I could give up, turn, and walk Forget about you and never talk It could all be so easy Get over you, you walk away from me Then I’ll realize that you’re the one I’ll have missed out on all the fun So there’s no way that I can stray Cause I love you in every way And I just can’t stay away Cause I miss you everyday I’m coming back for you I know this love must be true We both got hurt once before I’ll understand if you’re quite unsure But baby, I’m coming back for more So there’s no way that I can stray Cause I love you in every way And I just can’t stay away Cause I miss you everyday |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jon - All Rights Reserved | |||
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Well, I guess no one is going to help me today. Maybe if I bump this someone will look at it |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey! I just saw this, and I'm sorry no one replied earlier. I think you should give this to her. But I'm the kind of person that no one takes advice from, so I don't expect you to. hehe... well stay cool k?? k! byebye... ~Carly The grindstone of life will either polish us or wear us down, depending on what we're made of. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
"I’m coming back for you I know this love must be true" I like the forcefulness in those lines. Like you're saying "im coming for you, ready or not!".....i love it. I suggest just to try....cuz ...... -there are no saddest words said or written by pen then these: "it might have been!"-  "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
The only advice I can offer is let nature take its course...If yous were meant to be together then it will happen...Or just open up your mind and heart to this girl and tell her how you feel... ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Alright...let's see here...I've been the Queen of Advice...*cough cough* sort of...for quite some time now *choke choke*. Okay well, I can say that if I got something like this I'd probably cry. All I can tell you is to follow your heart...or gut instinct...which ever works best. I don't know the whole story, so I can't exactly say send it to her or not...but...ugh! It's a great poem...I think if she was like me she'd like it..but I'm not so sure she is....so... just do what you think is best. Yeah I'm alotta help, good luck  Bel |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I don't have any advice to give because it's always is the wrong thing. But this is a really well written poem! It seems sincere and from the heart to me. Nicely done "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! |
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Slim Junior Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 49Kentucky, USA |
i really liked this poem... and personally i certainly believe you should give this to the person you are talking about if you havent already. you express a lot of feeling in it and im sure it would mean something ot her as it does to others.. keep on keeping on! Slim |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
"So there’s no way that I can stray Cause I love you in every way And I just can’t stay away Cause I miss you everyday" What more is there to say? You know that's the reason why i always go back to the start of the forum. Cause I don't want to miss a poem that i would find really amazing. I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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