Teen Poetry #3 |
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Tried |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
I tried to give Her all up until This date. Alast it's Gone and I must contend With fate. So at this door I wait Searching for another cursed Mate. To die by my side And as we take our Final ride At least we can say We tried. |
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© Copyright 2000 E'Val - All Rights Reserved | |||
TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Your poem is very trus I really enjoyed it.Keep up the awsome work! |
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DancinQueen![]()
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
OK LOL either im just really tired or just plain dumb cause this one's not registering with me. im so sorry, dont get me wrong because im 100% positive it has an awesome meaning behind it, i just didnt see it..i'll try harder ![]() ![]() ~!*DQ*!~ "One fine day you'll look at me and know that love was meant to be" ~Carol King |
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Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey. I really liked this, the rhyming scheme was great!! Stay cool... ~Carly The grindstone of life will either polish us or wear us down, depending on what we're made of. |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
hey the format and ryhme scheme kicked butt. I liked the theme and everything was great. the last line impressed me and id like to see you around more. ![]() "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
Thank you all for your replies. and DQ if i may call you that. the point is trying but the guy died and was regreting it. and as he was standing at the crossroads he was waiting for someone that came across the same fate and lost there love. but at least they tried to love and make that one woman feel loved and special. I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I like this one. The rhyming works well and the poem is really good ![]() "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Jeremiah~ Its so good to see you back posting...This was a really good piece of work!!!I did enjoy it...Keep it up my friend!!! ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
I thought I had replied to this!! Well, I read it a couple times at least. It's great, really. I like the style, it's different. Different is good, I'm going on about nothing...so I'll shut up now. Good job, hasta luego Bel Wow! I can't spell! No one saw that right..? ![]() [This message has been edited by Isabel Galaxia (edited 10-26-2000).] |
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Xeonox![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
What an awesome write. Sad, but true many a times. Great work my friend. Ronil (The sweet sound of summer sends serenity through my soul searching for that evermore solitude.) |
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