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Teen Poetry #3
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Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S

0 posted 2000-10-24 10:16 PM


I tried to give Her all up until
          This date.
          Alast it's
    Gone and I must contend
          With fate.
    So at this door I wait
Searching for another cursed
            Mate.
      To die by my side
     And as we take our
        Final ride
     At least we can say
         We tried.

© Copyright 2000 E'Val - All Rights Reserved
TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
1 posted 2000-10-24 11:26 PM


Your poem is very trus I really enjoyed it.Keep up the awsome work!
DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
2 posted 2000-10-24 11:47 PM


OK LOL either im just really tired or just plain dumb cause this one's not registering with me. im so sorry, dont get me wrong because im 100% positive it has an awesome meaning behind it, i just didnt see it..i'll try harder   im just ditzy like that sometimes, but keep up the great work  

~!*DQ*!~


"One fine day you'll look at me and know that love was meant to be"
~Carol King

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
3 posted 2000-10-25 08:35 AM



  Hey. I really liked this, the rhyming scheme was great!! Stay cool...

  ~Carly

The grindstone of life will either polish us or wear us down, depending on what we're made of.


Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2000-10-25 02:13 PM


hey the format and ryhme scheme kicked butt. I liked the theme and everything was great. the last line impressed me and id like to see you around more.



"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
5 posted 2000-10-25 02:54 PM


Thank you all for your replies. and DQ if i may call you that. the point is trying but the guy died and was regreting it. and as he was standing at the crossroads he was waiting for someone that came across the same fate and lost there love. but at least they tried to love and make that one woman feel loved and special.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-


Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
6 posted 2000-10-25 04:21 PM


I like this one.  The rhyming works well and the poem is really good   

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
7 posted 2000-10-26 12:57 PM


Jeremiah~
Its so good to see you back posting...This was a really good piece of work!!!I did enjoy it...Keep it up my friend!!!


~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

8 posted 2000-10-26 08:47 PM


I thought I had replied to this!!  Well, I read it a couple times at least.  It's great, really.  I like the style, it's different.  Different is good, I'm going on about nothing...so I'll shut up now.  Good job, hasta luego
Bel

Wow!  I can't spell!  No one saw that right..?  

[This message has been edited by Isabel Galaxia (edited 10-26-2000).]

Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
9 posted 2001-03-13 12:42 PM


What an awesome write. Sad, but true many a times. Great work my friend.

Ronil (The sweet sound of summer sends serenity through my soul searching for that evermore solitude.)



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