Teen Poetry #3 |
Falling |
Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
~*¤Falling¤*~ You are so close, yet still, so far. Brightly shining, like a newborn star. You are falling away from me... Down the road, where will we be? Into the future, I can not see. And you are falling away from me... If I reach for your hand, will you stay? Or will you vanish, and leave me this way? You are falling away from me... I look to the sky, a star falls. I reflect on yesterday, remember it all. And you are falling away from me. Slowly falling away... *This has nothing to do with DancinQueen's poem. [This message has been edited by Suga_Baby (edited 10-24-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Sara - All Rights Reserved | |||
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey. This was really cool..I loved the repetition, it gave this a lotta class. Stay cool...happy writing.... ~Carly The grinstone of life will either polish us or wear us down, depending on what we're made of. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was great, the repetition kicked butt and .....hey YOU!....YOU dont fall away from me ya hear? "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I also liked the reptition because it kept reminding me of the main point of this poem. I think the poem is really good "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Why does it seem like i always follow Lakewalker's replies. I do agree with him though. thanks for sharing and keep writing I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Suga~ This was really good!!!And just like the others said I love the way you used the repetition...Keep up the good work!!! ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
This was great. Like Dopey said the repition was really good. I really liked this one.....keep it up alright? Nice job Hasta luego Bel |
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