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Teen Poetry #3
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hoppy
Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271


0 posted 2000-10-22 09:22 PM


not sure about this one.....but i'll post it none the less.......writers block is horrible!!!

i exist outside the box
watching you living within
believing I was in the right
now i know you're not right
wasting your life within
the confines of inadequate times
of destilation and confusion
filled with endless apathy
i see your error but not mine
here's the key i found while wandering
so i posess the knowledge to set you
free because i have the truth
to release you from your shackles
though i never would have found it
If i hadn't lived outside the box


There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
-- Oscar Levant

"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."

© Copyright 2000 Hoppy - All Rights Reserved
Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
1 posted 2000-10-22 09:26 PM



  Hey. Wow. This was really terrific. You've got an amazing gift...well, happy writing...

  ~Carly

The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.
~Isaiah 9:1-2

CLBinLOVE
Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 147
Hilton Head, SC, USA
2 posted 2000-10-22 09:27 PM


well all i can say is i TOTALLY relate to this poem, i mean, livin outside the social ring of people like i do (im an outcast) i see everything that goes on and i learn from it all, i hope i do anyway, and it all ends up helpin me live happier, eventhough im not with te "in" crowd
anyway i love this poem for the soul reason that i can totally relate and it expressed feelings i never knew i had till i read it
there are probably other reasons but im blinded by the first one...maybe ill get back to ya hehe


always follow your heart, never follow others unless it is truely where you want to go, and never give up a dream, maybe just set it aside for a while... :)

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
3 posted 2000-10-22 09:30 PM


id say your on the way to diminishing your writer's block, this was a pretty good poem

jeremy r


"...if you've never met me, then you've no right to judge me. I have a good heart, but this heart can get ugly." ~DMX~


Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2000-10-22 10:55 PM


Good job, i liked this.
screw the box



"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
5 posted 2000-10-23 06:18 AM


Excellent Hoppy! Very thought-provoking and well executed ... there's many people who go their whole lives living "inside that box", and what a sad existence that must be. Very well expressed!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
6 posted 2000-10-23 03:55 PM


Yes, very well done, and even through a block too?  I think this really gets an important idea out, good writing!

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

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