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Teen Poetry #3
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Stay?(my first poem in a while)
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Stay?(my first poem in a while) |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733
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Hi everyone, it's been a while. I wrote this over...I don't know..a four hour or so period, just adding when I had spare time. It's not meant in any way to be a love poem, so please don't take it that way. It's a little exaggerated. And it's not great, I know that, so go ahead and tear it apart. Gracias Stay? I raise my eyes and look at you You are smiling But what do I do I take a breath And look into your eyes The truth screams out inside of me I sigh, I don't want to tell you lies So I'm silent As you stand before me I try not to bite my lip As my insecurity Has its hold on me Your eyes are searching Across my face Quickly scanning With sudden haste As you look down Upon me Your smile fades to a frown A look of worry Quickly flashes across your face A mix of a fear That vanishes as it came, without a trace You seem angry I tell myself not to cry I can't reach out to you And you don't know why You look away As if you can stand to look at me no longer As if someday This will be different, I'll be stronger You breathe deep and sigh Without hesitating You reach out and move the strand of hair That had fallen down across my eye You read my expression As if I was a book All I had to do Was give you one look I know what's wrong As do you Same old story Nothing different, nothing new It happened again Won't let me skip a meal Yeah sure I know Big deal So I look at the ground I don't expect you to stay But then I look up You didn't go away -Dedicated to someone out there, you know who you are, you might read this- Beautiful is empty Beautiful is free Beautiful loves no one Beautiful stripped me -"Beautiful" CREED |
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| © Copyright 2000 Isabel Galaxia - All Rights Reserved | |||
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sweetstuff101 Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375OK, USA |
that was awesome!! I liked it alot!! "You reach out and move the strand of hair That had fallen down across my eye You read my expression As if I was a book" My favorite lines  Thanx for sharing. Great job, keep writing!! Luv, Sweetstuff ~*~ YeStErDaY iS tHe PaSt, 2mOrRoW iS ThE fUtUrE, ToDaY iS a GiFt, ThAt'S wHy We CaLl iT ThE pReSeNt. ~*~ |
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
Great poem. did this really happen? why? what would he see that would make his smile vanish. what did you do or say after that? |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well its good to see you posting again and a good poem to start with. 4hrs to write this? I know it was bit by bit, but i would never take that long.....hehe....anyway good job!  "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey there. This was really, really awesome. Heh, within 4 hours I'd lose complete track of what I'm tryin to say...great job once again. Happy writing!! ~Carly "I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife reading the newspaper. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Hey girl, I think you are too hard on your own poem cause i think that this is really good. And I mean that. Actually, i love a lot of the lines you came up with in this poem. "You reach out and move the strand of hair That had fallen down across my eye You read my expression As if I was a book All I had to do Was give you one look" very well expressed I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I don't know how to add on to the others, they clearly said my thoughts, this is good! It's good that you have someone who will stay and help."Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Everyone, thanks so much for replying, you have no idea what it means to me. Jose, yes, this really happened. The poem itself is more of a mix of two or three occurances. I'll tell you all the details later. Thanks again it means so much!! Hasta luego Bel |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
Powerful and intense... nice job |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
In my mind the best thing is knowing that you have someone there for you...This was an amazing piece of work Isabel...Keep it up...  But then I look up You didn't go away Sounds like this person is a good friend to you...Make sure you keep this person!!! ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ |
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Moon_Hunter New Member
since 2000-09-04
Posts 7 |
Very intense poem. It is filled with many emotions. The ending is effective and I just want to say keep up the good work |
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