Teen Poetry #3 |
Lost in Circular Wrath |
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Lost in Circular Wrath: Lost within the I in me. Gone forever we try. Straight lines of eternity. I'm living a hateful lie. Passing by the doors of chance There stands a golden egg. Look but not stare, a simple glance. I ask but never beg. Musing over the wrong choice in path Was never thought to be tame. We sit here in a circular wrath. It'll never be the same. "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
||
© Copyright 2000 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! You have 666 posts right now. You better change that fast Anyway, nice poem "Lost within the I in me. Gone forever we try. Straight lines of eternity. I'm living a hateful lie." After reading this I'm wondering what lie you're living??? "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! |
||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well straight lines of eternity symbolize this relationship i had. It's like.....a line segment would mean that the relationship started and ended...but in my eyes i wanted it to last FOREVER, thus contradicting a line segment. So the lines are eternal but it ended.....and i was living this stupid lie. OH and you made me laugh tons about the 666 thing hahaha.....im changing it right now! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
||
Morouxshi San Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207San Juan, Puerto Rico |
living a lie. arent we all? i loved it but i would have changed one line if i were the author, and this would probably contradict many of my own things, but i would have put "segments of eternity",cause lines do go on forever and i would have explained myself already in the poem... (thing i rarely do) really nice job nevertheless, it may be that im taking physics and i have to be carefull bout lines and segments...< !signature--> San, the wise San, the dumb San, the guy... [This message has been edited by Morouxshi San (edited 10-18-2000).] |
||
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey Javi. This was so great! I loved the line thing, it's really, really creative. Tootelz and happy writing!! ~Carly "I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife reading the newspaper. |
||
keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
I liked this one and totally understood where you were comin' from. Keep it flowing Keoni |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |