Teen Poetry #3 |
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Lost in Circular Wrath |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico ![]() |
Lost in Circular Wrath: Lost within the I in me. Gone forever we try. Straight lines of eternity. I'm living a hateful lie. Passing by the doors of chance There stands a golden egg. Look but not stare, a simple glance. I ask but never beg. Musing over the wrong choice in path Was never thought to be tame. We sit here in a circular wrath. It'll never be the same. ![]() "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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© Copyright 2000 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! You have 666 posts right now. You better change that fast ![]() ![]() "Lost within the I in me. Gone forever we try. Straight lines of eternity. I'm living a hateful lie." After reading this I'm wondering what lie you're living??? "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well straight lines of eternity symbolize this relationship i had. It's like.....a line segment would mean that the relationship started and ended...but in my eyes i wanted it to last FOREVER, thus contradicting a line segment. So the lines are eternal but it ended.....and i was living this stupid lie. OH and you made me laugh tons about the 666 thing hahaha.....im changing it right now! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! ![]() "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Morouxshi San Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207San Juan, Puerto Rico |
living a lie. arent we all? i loved it but i would have changed one line if i were the author, and this would probably contradict many of my own things, but i would have put "segments of eternity",cause lines do go on forever and i would have explained myself already in the poem... (thing i rarely do) really nice job nevertheless, it may be that im taking physics and i have to be carefull bout lines and segments...< !signature--> San, the wise San, the dumb San, the guy... [This message has been edited by Morouxshi San (edited 10-18-2000).] |
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Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey Javi. This was so great! I loved the line thing, it's really, really creative. Tootelz and happy writing!! ~Carly "I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife reading the newspaper. |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
I liked this one and totally understood where you were comin' from. Keep it flowing Keoni |
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