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Teen Poetry #3
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Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

0 posted 2000-10-17 07:07 PM


NOTE: this is pretty damn dark but oh well. I was messed up, what can i say?


Worn Out:


Breathing;
Panting;
Escaping the nothingness.
Withering within myself.

I can't;
I can't live on.
It's uncontrolable,
This infinite hell.

Breaking;
Tearing;
Caged within self.
Trapped in all aspects.

Decaying;
Dying;
It's all that confounds me.
It's all that I am.






"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

© Copyright 2000 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved
Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
1 posted 2000-10-17 07:37 PM



  Hey. Yeah, this was dark.  Really cool though. Happy writing...

   ~Carly

"I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife reading the newspaper.

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
2 posted 2000-10-17 07:50 PM


Dopey, hmmm, I like it, it seems sorta...desperate.  Good writing
"Escaping the nothingness.
Withering within myself."


"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

3 posted 2000-10-18 03:33 PM


Dopey, it's dark but it's good.  When did you write this...?  Oh well keep it up
Bel

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
4 posted 2000-10-18 04:57 PM


I like this, don't worry about it being dark because it all has to come out sometime  right? And by the way, it's keoni and it's HIM. No prob though             KEONI
Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2000-10-18 08:05 PM


Well yes this is pretty desperate and im so glad this could be felt within the poem because that is the EXACT point i was trying to make. Glad you all liked it a bit....i don't......cuz the mood i was in.....well it was HORRIBLE. So yea, but anywayz...thanks guys, adios!!!



"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
6 posted 2000-10-18 09:11 PM


Very dark indeed which makes it special in a way, it shows your deep down feelings and doesnt hide anything even if that means sacrificing that sweet kind of poetry, great creation!

jeremy
< !signature-->

"...if you've never met me, then you've no right to judge me. I have a good heart, but this heart can get ugly." ~DMX~



[This message has been edited by jeremydraul (edited 10-18-2000).]

peanogrl83
Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202

7 posted 2000-10-18 09:40 PM


Mmm, cavernously dark, but I like it...quite expressive. :.)


Vreni

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
8 posted 2000-10-19 08:46 AM


Dopey~We all do something that we wish we wouldnt remember but these are your feelings...You did an amazing job expressing yourself...You opened up a different type of world for us to see you as...We all have problems and sometimes it gets to overwhelming to keep them in...And we have to find a way to let it out...And you did the perfect job doing it...Thanks for sharing this!!!

~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~

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