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Teen Poetry #3
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always hope?
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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always hope? |
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pharon Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251alabama |
i am sitting here watching a fire burn into the night, and am overcome by some unexplainable sorrow for those tiny sparks of light that escape the flame and shoot up towards the stars, wanting only to become them... beautiful, giant, untouchable, but they are too far away. and thier dreams die while they fall as ash back down into the brutal flame, which lets them recover before shooting them upwards again, granting the false hope that next time they'll make it. once in a while a spark will pass the line drawn between embers and stars. only to fall short again after a few more feet. |
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| © Copyright 2000 maria g robinson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
I like this!!!You did a great job...I like how you used the stars...You painted a picture that was very clear to see...keep up the good work!!! ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I could see the ashes doing this, but this line changes the whole meaning of the poem to me: " wanting only to become them..." Well done! "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
i really thought this poem had a magical touch to it. This impressed me a lot! I thought the whole idea of this was amazing and i congratulate you on this piece!!  "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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