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Teen Poetry #3
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Once Upon a Castle
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Once Upon a Castle |
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Falling Stars New Member
since 2000-10-12
Posts 1 |
Once upon a Castle High above a small village so tidy, Stood a castle tall and mighty, Its silver walls shimmered and gleamed from way up high, Just as a twinkling star would shine in the dark of sky, The cold hands of snow and rain, On these walls,they left not a stain. But look up there now,and no light will show, No silver and bright gold to proudly glow, Only the crumbled ruins are left of the once glamorous sight, So,to stand there,now,with all the beauty a'flight, There'd be nothing left to see, Nothing of enjoyment,nothing of glee. But stand there long enough,'till the end of day, Music could be heard,though so far away, Full of bursting laughter,and mindless glee, The haunting of music trapped in the old walls-waiting to flee, For in these walls lies all the memories still, A forgotten secret lying just beneath a window's sill. Now look back up at the castle's crumbled heap, And tell me,what do you see now? ...(Something to keep) Without a struggle,and without a hastle, You'll soon be repeating "Once upon a Castle." |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jasmine - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
HEY! Welcome to Passions!!!!! Well let me be the first to welcome you to our wonderful home of words and sentences. This was a great first post! I loved the ending and everything seemed to fit in just fine. I hope to see more of your posts soon enough! BYE!  "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hi there!! Everybody stand up and appload this one!! It's a TERRIFIC opening post. Great word choices!! Keep up the great work, and happy writing!!! ~Carly "I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife reading the newspaper. |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Wow. Everything in this poem just went together so smoothly, and like Dopey I loved the ending. It was just awesoome - nothin else to say. Outstanding first post. Welcome to Passions - you'll be very happy here.  Mucho Amante, Kris ~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~ ~All that I have found in reason is reason just to not believe.~ |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Welcome to Passions Falling Stars! We are very happy you have decided to join our community of poetry friendship. We look forward to having you share your efforts with us and please keep in mind that we are very supportive of each other. The pleasure you receive from reading comments on your work is the same pleasure others need by receiving your comments on theirs. This is a rule that all poets here follow. We invite you to join the family! This is a wonderful first post ... full of wonderful imagery, nicely done! I hope to read more of your poetry and your responses to our wonderful family of poets!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
 Welcome to Passions I enjoyed the images this one brought to my head. I just read an article today about castles and I could just see them all while reading your poem. Great work! Please keep posting and remember to reply too "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Welcome to passions!!!I hope that you enjoy it here... Good first post...You painted a perfect picture for all of us... I cant wait to see more!!! ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ |
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