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peanogrl83
Member

since 1999-12-04

Posts 202

0 posted 2000-10-09 05:59 PM

Hey guys, this sucks..I know. I 'm not sure if you'll be able to understand the context of the poem w/out the pertinent background info, but, um, it's worth a shot. lol.

Vreni

Your Prison

Self-induced darkness has made you blind,
Your past, your demons, solace in this find.
But light be there, in most caliginous night,
If only you’d acknowledge you view the sight.
Your monsters remain, as you do permit
Feeding them with fears to which you submit.
You attempt to lock them in a gilded cage,
In hopes that neglect will calm their rage.
Soon you realize that you’re the prisoner now,
Illusions of divine salvation yourself disavow.
You’re content to live imprisoned in your cell,
Endlessly caressing the bars, afraid to rebel.
If given ample time, I can become a key,
From your nightmares I can set you free.
But you won’t grant me this, I indeed do fail,
For you find comfort in your predictable jail.

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

1 posted 2000-10-09 08:01 PM

Well this certainly got me thiking, and I found what it means to me. That's what's great about poetry, it can mean different things to different people. Anyway, nice writing!

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

2 posted 2000-10-09 09:07 PM

Hey. This did not suck at all. And like Lakewalker said, it prolly meant different things to me than was meant to be shown by you. It was terrific. Great work.

~Carly

"I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife reading the newspaper.

StarPryncess17
Senior Member

since 2000-05-31

Posts 932
Colorado

3 posted 2000-10-10 10:42 AM

That poem was AMAZING!! I thought that you did very well in wording it. I agree with the other two, this did not suck, and i'm sure it had similar or different meanings to you than it did to me. I personally found that it totally related to my dad and I. Long story though...hehe. Anyways, great poem your thoughts were worded excellently!!

Love always
~*~Jessica~*~

*Being an angel doesn't mean having a halo or wings, it means doing the right thing and wanting to make a difference*

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2000-10-10 02:57 PM

I do like this one tons upon tons. You have a lot of talent and i do look forward to seeing more of your work. Very good choice of words, the ryhme scheme wonderful. I loved it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

peanogrl83
Member

since 1999-12-04

Posts 202

5 posted 2000-10-11 05:14 PM

Lakewalker, Dopey, Star, and Child of the Stars - thanks for replying, and I'm glad that the piece is visceral enough to hold an individualistic meaning to each reader. :.) Thanks again!

Vreni

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

6 posted 2000-10-11 09:35 PM

Very powerful with a dark, harsh feel....well done!

*Krista Knutson*

"Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." -Confucious

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