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Teen Poetry #3
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Tell me...where has the world gone wrong...
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Tell me...where has the world gone wrong... |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI 
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Dirty streets and powder treats Dark and dreary dealers meet Little girls and bouncy curls Lazy, lusting lovers twirl Jazzy tunes and sour prunes Just and jelled jurassics swoon Beauty toes and thorny rose Blonde and bouncing beauty blows Darkened souls, they've lost their way So few folded hands to pray... Better days are on the way, my friend, just a ways on down the line. I believe that just around the bend, everythings gonna be fine... |
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| © Copyright 2000 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved | |||
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pharon Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251alabama |
where did the world go wrong?? the world didn't "go" wrong...but that doesn't mean we should stop trying to fix it! great poem! it's so true...especially the last line! pharon |
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AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
hmmm...very nice...well...not nice in the litteral meaning of course, nothing this dark could be considered nice...but I liked it...I can't find the word that I'm looking for to describe it...I hate it when that happens.... But whatever the word is (and it's a good one) that's what this poem is... **I didn't loose my mind it was mine to give away** ~Robbie Williams~ |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
This is well written, but pharon does bring up a point: "that doesn't mean we should stop trying". Anyway, I like this poem. |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
I think that's the reason I wrote this, cuz people seem to stop trying...anyways I didn't even think about the title much. Thanks for your replies, they are greatly appreciated!! ~Carly Better days are on the way, my friend, just a ways on down the line. I believe that just around the bend, everythings gonna be fine... |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I loved this poem. I thought the wording of the poem was amazing....... - jelled jurassics swoon - bouncing beauty blows I love those two phrases. I try to write some poems that are FULL of those. I love those kind of things. In the 6th Round you'll see what i'm talking about. I thought the poem was amazing. A great poem cutie pie!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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curlygurly Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276USA |
this was a good poem! personally i don't think that the world actually has gone wrong in any way but that we have just evolved into different people. in some ways the world isn't as good of a place as it used to be, surely it isn't as safe, but i think that the world is better in ways such as rights and restrictions especially toward women. keep up the good poetry  Curlz "i've kissed the moon a million times, danced with the angels in the sky" enrique iglesias |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This is a really good poem with a really good meaning to it. I'm glad that someone feels this way too. Thanks for sharing this poem I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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