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Teen Poetry #3
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Feelings (Lakewalker's Challenge-Haiku)
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Feelings (Lakewalker's Challenge-Haiku) |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ 
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Lakewalker~~~I know this isnt my best work...But I am accepting your challenge...Tell me what you think...Enjoy!!! < !signature--> Feelings Unbearable pain, is something I am feeling, because you left me. It TaKeS a MiNuTe To LiKe SoMeOnE, aN hOuR tO hAvE a CrUsH oN sOmEoNe & A dAy To FaLl In LoVe, BuT iT tAkEs A lIfEtImE tO fOrGeT sOmEoNe. [This message has been edited by ERIN (edited 10-01-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Erin Erbs - All Rights Reserved | |||
branden726 
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
Hey why so short? i dont know i can actually say i like this one but keep trying "what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger" |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
I Loved it Erin!! You are a talented Haiku writer!  hehe. 5-7-5, guess I should have paid attention...Branden~This is a haiku, a form of writing that uses 5 syllables in the first line,7 in the second, and 5 in the last. COunt 'em Erin did good. Personally, I don't think she needs to keep trying, you make it sound as if she did bad, she did an excellent job. Nicely done Erin!! Love Always ~*~Jello~*~ ~*~sMiLe! It MaKeS yOuR bUtT ShInE~*~ |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
what can i say about this? straight to the point, and that's how it should be. Keep it up Erin...and yes, Jessica's right, you are one talented writer. keep writing I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Branden~~~Thanks for the reply...Next time dont sound so enthuastic about it...A haiku is a short poem...Made up of a total of 17 syllables...5 in the 1st line 7 in the 2nd line and 5 more in the 3rd...But Jessica cleared that up for you... Jessica~~~Look now I am copying off of you with the different colors...Sorry Jello!!!Thanks for your reply...It means alot to me...Im glad you liked it!!! Acire~~~Last but not least...Thank you buddy for your reply...I really appreciate it... And thanks for the compliment you two!!! < !signature--> It TaKeS a MiNuTe To LiKe SoMeOnE, aN hOuR tO hAvE a CrUsH oN sOmEoNe & A dAy To FaLl In LoVe, BuT iT tAkEs A lIfEtImE tO fOrGeT sOmEoNe. [This message has been edited by ERIN (edited 10-01-2000).] |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
This is awesome, I love how easy it is to get a message across with these short poems Challengely greatly met! And for anyone wondering about this challenge-stop by the Teen Explorer forum! |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Lakewalker~~I would like to say thank you to you for posting that challenge...I enjoyed writing this...It put my mind to work...Im happy I was able to meet the challenge also!!! It TaKeS a MiNuTe To LiKe SoMeOnE, aN hOuR tO hAvE a CrUsH oN sOmEoNe & A dAy To FaLl In LoVe, BuT iT tAkEs A lIfEtImE tO fOrGeT sOmEoNe. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
What exactly is a haiku?....what syllabic form is it in? I forgot.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Five in the first line, seven in the second, and five again in the third. There's a link in my post in Teen Explorer that describes it well. Everyone should go check it out (you don't mind if I use this post to push the challenge, do you Erin??? ) Once again, I love your poem! |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Lakewalker~ No I dont mind you advertising your stuff on my poem...LOL It TaKeS a MiNuTe To LiKe SoMeOnE, aN hOuR tO hAvE a CrUsH oN sOmEoNe & A dAy To FaLl In LoVe, BuT iT tAkEs A lIfEtImE tO fOrGeT sOmEoNe. |
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branden726
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
Hey hey hey im soooooo sorry i never learned that but thats michigan school's for ya lol im sorry but i get it now and it still sounds funny but ill catch on "what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger" |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Branden~Dont feel bad...I didnt learn about this stuff till about a year ago...And this was my first one... ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ |
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shadydaze Member
since 2000-10-02
Posts 85 |
feelings, how fragile how easily they do hurt but they can be healed |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Shadydaze~You should start posting those...You are really good!!!Thanks for the reply...But you see this wasnt about getting my heart broken or anything...My boyfriend left for vacation and I couldnt word this right...< !signature--> ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ [This message has been edited by ERIN (edited 10-04-2000).] |
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
great poem Erin short and to the point |
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Jacman Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291Dwight Il, US |
Ok, I am just going to have to check this out. I wanna play too! jason I'm not concieted...I'm convinced. |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Thanks for the replies guys!!! And Jason I hope you try!!!Cause I did and look what happened!!! ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
im impressed...you have just expressed your state of mind with very few words... write on!  |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Hey Erin! Sorry I missed this one the first time around!! It's very good... At first I pulled a Branden heheehe I forgot what a haiku was written like!! I loved it though and after my brain thawed and I remembered what a haiku was.... it was wonderful! Keep it up!xoxo Jenn "A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ?? |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
You really like these Haikus (I learnt to spell it!!) don't you!! Well done again!! Melz!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Thanks you guys for the replies. And Melster I started to like them but after a while I wasnt able to write. I had a horrible case of writers block! People leave our lives as quickly as they come, but the ones that mean something leave footprints in our hearts. |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
i wannou write a Hiaku to!!!(has a tempertantrum)lol REgina |
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sweetstuff101 Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375OK, USA |
That was cool!! Luv it! I am not good at writing haikus! Maybe cuz I just can't write stuff that short...who knows??? Oh well, yours was great! Keep writing!!! Luv Always, Priscilla< !signature--> ~*~GoOd fRiEnDz ArE hArD 2 FiNd, HaRdEr 2 LeAvE, & iMpOsSiBlE 2 fOrGeT~*~tHe HaRdEsT tHiNg tO Do iS wAtCh tHe 1 U LuV, lUv sUm1 eLsE~*~ [This message has been edited by sweetstuff101 (edited 12-26-2000).] |
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Tears of Glass Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 182Physically? VA.... Mentally? I'm not quite sure |
Hey.. I like this! It's short and sweet... and straight to the point. You're a very talented writer! Keep up the work And I look forward to reading more from you. Keep em coming! *Jennifer |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Wonderful post....see you aren't in writer's block I just hope none of it is personal.... It was a great haiku though...keep writing em Talk to ya soon. Salma |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Great job Erin. Writting in a set format isn't easy. I think I am going to except Lake's challenge too. I hope it turns out as good as yours IsGona< !signature--> "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ [This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 12-26-2000).] |
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Greeneyes617 Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329Arkansas |
Hey, good work. Haikus can be tough to write....You did a nice job.  |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Erin this was a good try. I think haiku's are great. Next time.....use some symbolism....i'd like to read that from you. Good one here tho! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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