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Teen Poetry #3
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Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

0 posted 2000-10-01 01:12 PM


The Webbing of Me:


Enchanted forest crashes down.
My mouth was a smile,
But now is a frown.

I run as fast as time can run.
I time myself,
And the web I spun.

Years are gone but minutes here.
I walk amongst land
That I fear to fear.

Sip of water lost within.
Trying to catch food
So the web I spin.

The tears of encantation delight
Makes my mouth water,
Yet my soul in fright.

Insidious icycles waiting to be.
I despise the cold.
The web is me.





I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.


© Copyright 2000 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved
Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

1 posted 2000-10-01 01:21 PM


Yay I get to be the first to reply again!  This is really great, I especially like "Years are gone but minutes here.
I walk amongst land
That I fear to fear."  
I'm confused though...I thought you were from..Puerto Rico(I think....??), are you not native to that country?  You have to excuse my stupidity, I'm obviously easily confused.  Keep it up amigo...hasta luego
Bel


Beautiful is empty
Beautiful is free
Beautiful loves no one
Beautiful stripped me
-"Beautiful" CREED

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
2 posted 2000-10-01 02:28 PM



  Coolness. hehe that's all I have to say.

    ~Carly

Better days are on the way, my friend, just a ways on down the line.
I believe that just around the bend, everythings gonna be fine...

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
3 posted 2000-10-01 02:41 PM


Awesome Dopey, keep up the great writing.  You always write thought provoking stuff!
hoppy
Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271

4 posted 2000-10-01 02:52 PM


nice poem!  I love the way you describe the making of the web then at the end say you are the web.  Sort of a way to look at one's life and see that everything we do makes us.

Good poem

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
-- Oscar Levant

"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2000-10-01 09:32 PM


i am from puerto rico.....i just dont write in spanish.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.


AngelShell
Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...
6 posted 2000-10-01 09:49 PM


hmmm...I liked it a lot...I really did...it was so...I don't know what it was, but it was really that...

(that didn't make a-hella-lot-a sense...oh well...)

**life is like an ice cream...the trick is not to get brain freeze**

**I didn't loose my mind it was mine to give away**
~Robbie Williams~

anomaly187
Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284
San Francisco,CA,US
7 posted 2000-10-01 11:53 PM


hey dope i really like the rhyme scene.. it flowed amazingly..this could also be a song maybe...

HUT TWO THREE FOUR!
HUT TWO THREE FOUR!
the clowns on parade
the clowns mascerade
rip off your face
rip off your brain
the clowns on parade
-me

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