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Teen Poetry #3
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Commitment
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Commitment |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people 
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Sad and lonely I sit and wait, wait to learn what is my fate, watching hours of endless time, waiting to learn how I'll pay for the crime, Awful tears they bulid and grow, of my future I just don't know, Then it comes, the day I die, my friends and family sit and cry, And of my fate I learn what's true, I should have always believed in you. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lakewalker - All Rights Reserved | |||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a very well-written piece. Does this apply to your own life? If so, don't be too hard on yourself. Commitment is a great thing, when you're ready... but it can be a disaster if you aren't. You should never go into commitment if you feel pressured. I know that you may miss that person, but you should never go into a commitment with doubts. False gems may shine as brightly as the genuine article, but there are always those who can tell the difference. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I suppose I should have just written this up there, this is about my commitment to God. Sometimes I wonder what I really belive, so this is sort of looking at that. Anyway, thank you for the reply LoveBug  |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
You say that this is about your commitment to god???Then why would you put this: I should have always believed in you. Did you like stop believing in god or something??? Anyways this was a good poem...I hope to see more!!! It TaKeS a MiNuTe To LiKe SoMeOnE, aN hOuR tO hAvE a CrUsH oN sOmEoNe & A dAy To FaLl In LoVe, BuT iT tAkEs A lIfEtImE tO fOrGeT sOmEoNe. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought this poem was well written and i liked the topic of writing. God is always a good topic to write about. UHhhhhh.....and for those athiests out there, yep....God is a good topic to write about hahaha....ok bye  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Very powerful and well written piece. I think I can relate to where you're coming from here.....again, well done! *Krista Knutson* "Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." -Confucious |
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Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
Lakewalker- again.. this is a GREAT poem keep it up ~*Justine*~ |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
*ahem*Dopey...ATHEIST PRIDE!!!...well hey lakewalker this was really well written and i loved it..but i know i'll always be an atheist.. I am buried up to my neck in Contradictionary flies I take pride as the kind of illiterature I'm very ape and very nice -Kurt Cobain |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
LOVED it!! It was brilliant. I know what you mean about the commitment thing. God is sometimes hard to believe in...Keep your head up and be strong, one day you'll know the truth. Best of luck... Love Always ~*~Jessica~*~ ~*~sMiLe! It MaKeS yOuR bUtT ShInE~*~ |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
GREAT poem! I love it! Keep it up! -=SuGa=- |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
GREAT poem! I love it! Keep it up! -=SuGa=- |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
This flowed magnificently! I have been looking at a few of your poems and I'd have to say that the ones you do with shorter lines seem to have the best feel to them. This was no exception. Well done! ~Allan Its rather handy being at the top of the food chain...you can sort things out and not get the blame for it. ~~Elizabeth Johnson (anonymousfemale) |
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