Teen Poetry #3 |
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I wanted to kiss the bundles of stars in your face..... |
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jennie may* Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 122 |
I wanted to kiss the bundles of stars in your face I wanted to smooth the rough edges of your skin weaved with mine so full of hidden pain and boyish innocence I wanted to melt into your warm white walls I didn't want to leave you the heavens watched us sleeping quietly in those cold January nights angels full of envy above us I suppose they wanted you to become a fleeting blotch of red in my heart I suppose the whispers of fate decided to change us I didn't want to leave you with gentle fingers and sleepy eyes we fell in love I always tangled the stars in your hair I always kissed the scars on your hands as if I knew we were going to die the angels have you now the man I loved and I have sorrow and one million pictures of you lodged in my chest |
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© Copyright 2000 jennie may* - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lucius Cade Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235Saskatchewan |
That is probably the sweetest poem I have ever read. I really liked it, I like you style of writing also. Keep up the good work. Lucidity is the answer to all problems |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
yes this is a different style here and i like it. people like my style and i always try something new so i commend you for being different. and this is another great piece from you. i like i like. I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
This is beautiful, Jennie!! I too like your style...keep up the posting!! Love and hugs, Lizzie ![]() "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Lani_DarkOne Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152UK |
I love the structure of your poems...yeah this is different from your last piece but I love it...it's just as full of emotion, but it's just as REAL as your last poem(I keep on using that term...you know what I mean by 'real' don't u?) The importance of the angels here is sweet as well as painful... These lines are beautiful: "I always tangled the stars in your hair I always kissed the scars on your hands" I don't usually like love 'soppy' poems, but this is the first I more than 'like'. Keep writing!! ![]() ![]() "Controlling my feelings for too long.... And forcing our darkest souls to unfold... And pushing us into self-destruction...." *~Muse*~ |
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~Night_Mist~ Junior Member
since 2000-06-24
Posts 31Calgary, AB Canada |
Hey Jennie: Great style like everyone else said. I really love your poem! Lot sof talent! Keep writing o.k.? Luv, ~Night_Mist~ |
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jennie may* Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 122 |
Thanx a BUNCH for all your comments! I love to know that people can relate to my poetry! And Lani-I do know what you mean by "real". Sometimes a straightforward approach can be the best expression of emotion. Thanx again! |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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