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Teen Poetry #3
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Tautological
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Tautological |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
I'd wake up to the blatant screams the pictures in my head of ravaged seams of lives that ruptured because i could not confide dolls like us just learn to comply winded up on duracell brought up and taught how to be ill my fellow machines, worse than me sell your body for the kill nothing i know of can replace the pill she grows on the street like a cancerous tumor absent of thought, having yet to be caught she falls as we mean nothing at all everything in this world unfurled and unfounded anything at all, tautological automechanical "People are strange, when you're a stranger. Faces look ugly, when you're alone. Women seem wicked, when you're unwanted. Streets are uneven when you |
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| © Copyright 2000 Alexei - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Jenabou Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 215Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/USA |
this was really powerfull i don't know what to say im speechless great work. Love Ya Bunches ~Jen~  The world is like a mirror; frown at it, and it frowns at you. Smile and it smiles, too Be kind,for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought the poem kicked ass! I liked it a lot. I write about such things. I'd like to know one thing though, and don't get offended like some other girl did when i asked this question, its just a question out of curiosity. The ryhme scheme is all over the place. Did you do this on purpose to symbolize society's chaos? OK well yes, just tell me. THANKS!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Wow! That's one of those that leaves ya utterly speechless....very nice  Bravo! Bravo!!Salma |
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silentsky Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 114 |
i agree, this poem leaves me speechless... wow, the flow of words...amazing poem. shira |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
heh well i am speachless that i got such great feedback..thank you, i really appreciate it..and Dopey_Dope you're pretty much right about society's chaos..that and i don't always like to just write something that rhyme's all the time. "Serve the servants- oh no. That legendary divorce is such a bore" "i'm on warm milk and laxatives/cherry-flavored antacids" |
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