Teen Poetry #3 |
No Return |
qtpieelmo Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY |
NO RETURN Darkness within Brightness without Shadowed by a, cloud of doubt. Am I still living, deep inside? Lacking pain, that I hide. Sharp razor, not even a flinch. Trickling blood, just from a pinch. Life's a blur, death sounds clear. No more need, to ever fear! Death welcomes me, life turns away. No longer easy, for me to stay. I walk toward death, he grabs my hand. Life's slipping, like hourglass sand. When the last grain, comes tumbling down, I change my mind, & turn around. Is it too late? Have I givin in? Did he take my soul? I'm now dead within! <3ELMO<3 |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked the whole poem....the ending is a bit shady....but i think the poem in general kicks serious ass buddy. I like the way it was written. You keep it up.....you're a talented writer. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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qtpieelmo Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY |
Thanx I appreciate your honesty, do u have any suggestions for a more powerful ending? LOVE ELMO <3 |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Wow elmo!!!This is good!!!It left me speechless...I cant wait to see more of your work...I rarely see you here anymore though...But I know where to find you!!!LOL ~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~ |
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qtpieelmo Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY |
Thanx Erin I'm surprised I left such an impact on you. Yea I don't write here much. Dark Passions is more my style, you'll find a lot more of my work there LOVE ELMO |
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