no set title... considering calling it "My plea" or something like that

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Teen Poetry #3

no set title... considering calling it "My plea" or something like that

Suga_Baby
Member

since 2000-08-06

Posts 380
Maine, USA

0 posted 2000-08-30 11:45 AM

Too many days we spend apart,
The times with you so few.
Now it’s not so easy
To show how I care for you.

Please do not forget me
When your days are restless and long.
And keep my picture in your heart
When everything seems to go wrong.

Let me be among your thoughts
As you lay yourself down to sleep,
A smile upon your handsome face
From having dreams so sweet.

And please do not deny me;
To gain, one must also give.
Sacrifice and equal effort
Are rules by which we should live.

Forgive me if I am sometimes a pain,
For I won’t mean to be.
It may just be that I miss you
And that I want you here with me.

To hold me close and make me laugh,
Making up for lost time.
The happier we are together,
The longer you stay mine.

And, every now and then,
Could you tell me how we are?
Are we doing good or bad,
For having come this far?

Stay here by my side
For as long as you possibly can,
To support me and adore me
And to hold my hopeful hand.

OR should I format it THIS way??--

Too many days we spend apart,
The times with you so few.
Now it’s not so easy
To show how I care for you.
Please do not forget me
When your days are restless and long.
And keep my picture in your heart
When everything seems to go wrong.
Let me be among your thoughts
As you lay yourself down to sleep,
A smile upon your handsome face
From having dreams so sweet.
And please do not deny me;
To gain, one must also give.
Sacrifice and equal effort
Are rules by which we should live.
Forgive me if I am sometimes a pain,
For I won’t mean to be.
It may just be that I miss you
And that I want you here with me
To hold me close and make me laugh,
Making up for lost time.
The happier we are together,
The longer you stay mine.
And, every now and then,
Could you tell me how we are?
Are we doing good or bad,
For having come this far?
Stay here by my side
For as long as you possibly can,
To support me and adore me
And to hold my hopeful hand.

Please let me know what you think everyone! Comments, suggestions, way to make it better, etc, etc... thanx!

Erin
Member Elite

since 2000-06-15

Posts 2527
~Chicago~

1 posted 2000-08-30 12:55 PM

Suga~~~This is really good...And it looks pretty good either way...But you already posted it 2 different ways so...

Keep up the good work!!!

p.s.~~~The title My Plea sounds perfect...

~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

2 posted 2000-08-31 10:05 AM

Very nicely penned SugaBaby! Lovely sentimental thoughts ... I like the first format the best, as it seemed to read a little more fluently to me. If you'd like some further input, you may want to check out the "Teen Explorer Forum" too! Keep up the great work!

Best wishes,
/Kit

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