Teen Poetry #3 |
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Untitled (could someone maybe hook up a title?) |
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CJM New Member
since 2000-03-18
Posts 7 |
I do not know why I am writing this down I'm not all that happy, yet I show no frown Indifference is what I am feeling right now And it's all her fault, but I do not know how She creates these incredible feelings inside Like she sees right through me, I know I can't hide Is this love? Hell, I really don't know Only patience and time will eventually show I must know if her and I will ever be Curiosity killed the cat, and it will kill me Somehow i'll find out if she really cares And realize that our hears were meant to be shared I'm hopeful that she will feel something for me But until then, we will just have to wait and see For she is angelic and sweet like a dove And I am just guilty of falling in love |
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© Copyright 2000 CJM - All Rights Reserved | |||
Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
Patiently in Love? Sorry I'm really bad with titles ![]() ![]() ~Susie "If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility." ~Henry W |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
how about for the title the last three words "Falling in love" don't that explain what's going on here. i love your work and will keep reading more of it thanks for shareing. I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
i really loved your poem. it makes me feel the way i felt before anything happened between me and my boyfriend. but just change the "she's" to "he's". well im really bad with titles but i would make it "UNHIDDEN FEELINGS". i dont know you talk about so many different things of her and you feelings. |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
WOW! very powerful yet beautiful poem! It's complicated (dealing with love) yet simple (just your feelings straigh up). That's a hard thing to do. Nicely written! Keep it up. Love Always~*~Jessica~*~ p.s. as for a title--"Guilty... of falling in love" ? ~*~Love is the product of our dicontentment with ourselves~*~ ~*~Work like you don't need money, Love like you've never been hurt, Dance like no one |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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