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Teen Poetry #3
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CJM
New Member
since 2000-03-18
Posts 7


0 posted 2000-06-20 09:28 PM


I do not know why I am writing this down
I'm not all that happy, yet I show no frown
Indifference is what I am feeling right now
And it's all her fault, but I do not know how
She creates these incredible feelings inside
Like she sees right through me, I know I can't hide
Is this love? Hell, I really don't know
Only patience and time will eventually show
I must know if her and I will ever be
Curiosity killed the cat, and it will kill me
Somehow i'll find out if she really cares
And realize that our hears were meant to be shared
I'm hopeful that she will feel something for me
But until then, we will just have to wait and see
For she is angelic and sweet like a dove
And I am just guilty of falling in love

© Copyright 2000 CJM - All Rights Reserved
Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551
Pennsylvania
1 posted 2000-06-20 10:53 PM


Patiently in Love?
Sorry I'm really bad with titles  . But I loved this poem. Can't wait to see more  .

~Susie


"If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility."
~Henry W

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
2 posted 2000-06-21 02:09 AM


how about for the title the last three words "Falling in love" don't that explain what's going on here. i love your work and will keep reading more of it thanks for shareing.

I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul



Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
3 posted 2000-06-21 02:37 AM


i really loved your poem. it makes me feel the way i felt before anything happened between me and my boyfriend. but just change the "she's" to "he's". well im really bad with titles but i would make it "UNHIDDEN FEELINGS". i dont know you talk about so many different things of her and you feelings.
StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
4 posted 2000-06-21 05:15 PM


WOW! very powerful yet beautiful poem! It's complicated (dealing with love) yet simple (just your feelings straigh up). That's a hard thing to do. Nicely written! Keep it up. Love Always~*~Jessica~*~

p.s. as for a title--"Guilty... of falling in love" ?


~*~Love is the product of our dicontentment with ourselves~*~
~*~Work like you don't need money, Love like you've never been hurt, Dance like no one

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
5 posted 2007-11-18 09:43 AM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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