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sharp
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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sharp |
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Portia Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157 |
wheeling, circling, a knot grown tighter in my chest a vulturous pain the solution is no solution it is a three-pronged dilemma a goddess-driven trinity a sharp conundrum offering a death at any turn the vultures would be happy a sacrifice, a gift, a loss I choose my pain to keep my smile but my smile aches too my eternity is sealed so is my mortality but the circle revolves always the knot has tightened many times circling sharply for aeons I dream of a different day... perhaps if I can wait if I can last, survive the vultures will leave me alone [This message has been edited by Portia (edited 06-16-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Portia - All Rights Reserved | |||
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Portia, a very dark poem, intense and well written really enjoyed reading it. the solution is no solution it is a three-pronged dilemma a goddess-driven trinity a sharp conundrum offering a death at any turn the vultures would be happy if I can last, survive the vultures will leave me alone ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. "Art is a lie which makes us realise the truth." Pablo Picasso "We Irish are too poetical to be poets, we are a nation of brilliant failures" Oscar Wilde ----- |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
"I choose my pain to keep my smile" There were several very interesting lines in this poem. All well written I feel. I find it challenging to interpret your meaning. ~~nice writing~~ A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives. |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
I like the vulture imagery, the revolving motion of the poem. I get the impression of a (or rather several thereof) no-way-out situation, which ever way is chosen, it leads to the same result. So if no way is chosen, then perhaps the problem will solve itself. Indeed a sharp conundrum offering  Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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Nancee Junior Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 45Australia |
WOW...I am new here, the perspectives that unfold are truly amazing. |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
this is a great piece of work i also find it hard to figure out your meaning but love the lines i'll be watching for more of your work. I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Portia,...This makes me think of opening a door to find a wall....like built up right against the frame. Where you had tempted to get out but were blocked. I like the title,..Sharp, and then the circle in the poem...interesting. Circles have no sharp...but they can stick you like something sharp. "a sacrifice, a gift, a loss I choose my pain to keep my smile but my smile aches too"....this is pretty powerful what you say here. This poem just makes me feel like I am falling down some old stone steps in a cold, dark hallway to somewhere underground,...to the unknown....sorry for that, but I'm just letting you know what this did to me. Great work nontheless...powerful. *Peace. [This message has been edited by SpitFire (edited 06-19-2000).] |
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hunter Junior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 22lex,ky |
i like your words but would not try to interpt them for fear of losing something in doing so.nice job |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Wow, Portia, loved every line, a great poem indeed... especially loved these lines.... a sacrifice, a gift, a loss I choose my pain to keep my smile but my smile aches too Terrific!  My grief lies onward and my joy behind (Shakespeare) |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
I pray the vultures stay away!! Nicely written!! Bridgette "Creation of woman from the rib of Man: She was not made from his head to top him; nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him; but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved." -Unknown |
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ChibiDeathscythe Member
since 2000-06-09
Posts 128 |
Wow....very dark, but profound. I love it. Striking imagery. "Suicides have already betrayed the body. Still born, they don't always die, bu dazzled, they can't forget a drug so sweet that even children would |
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